


On My Own

by ShesJustLikeAMaze



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, F/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:29:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShesJustLikeAMaze/pseuds/ShesJustLikeAMaze
Summary: When Kate has a dinner party to try and set Tessa up with her friend Alma's son, Scott Moir. Things come from awkward to complicated when Eleanor, Tessa's daughter, reveals a secret that will connect Tessa and Scott's lives forever.





	1. Family Law

I straightened my skirt and sat down at my desk sorting through the neat pile of papers. I had my last client of the day sitting on the opposite side of my oak desk nervously tapping her foot against the leg of the polished wood.

“Mrs. Peterson, why are you requesting an unequal division of net family property?” I asked the woman looking down at her folder.

****

I decided to go into family law when I was in my early twenties. When I was a teenager I lived away from home at a boarding school where I studied classical ballet. When I was seventeen I was invited to the Ballet Company in Montreal. I trained really hard and toured with the company ending my Ballet career as the principal role in Giselle at twenty-three. What inspired me to go into family law after my ballet career was my parents divorce. I was fifteen years old when they finally pulled the plug on what I always thought was a happy marriage. I guess I was blind or ignorant because neither my brothers or sister acted very surprised at all. The experience jaded me, especially when my father treated the entire process like he was divorcing our entire family opposed to just our mother. At my boarding school it felt silly to mourn the loss of my family, almost all the kids there came from split family homes. The thing is, divorce is all around us and it is messy. When a bride and groom sign their marriage certificate surrounded by their loved ones, it seems like the world is such a happy place full of good. That dotted line and the stroke of your signature will trap you into an agreement that the government gets to partake in. It seems completely fruitless to me, especially when 40% of marriages will end before their 30th wedding anniversary. I see it every day at work, 1 in 3 of my cases are divorce cases, and 2 in 3 of those divorce cases involve children. Children just like I was, given absolutely no say in the matter. That is why when I decided I wanted a child, I did it on my own. I didn’t feel the need to have a man in my life to feel worthy.

****

When I turned 30 I decided I was ready. I looked into sperm donors and adoption. When I filled out my adoption application I was practically laughed at. I was a single mother on a long list behind the happy couples who owned a golden retriever. It never made sense to me why it was always the couples who got first pick, just because there were two parents didn’t mean a more stable household. After months and months of waiting just to be considered I got a call. There had been a car accident where a mother died but her 6 month old baby remained unharmed. The woman had no existing family and there was no father documented on the child’s birth certificate. That is how my daughter Eleanor came to be. Now 5 years later, my little six year old Elly is the star of my sky. 

****

“I want 70% because he’s taking the house. He’s such scum Ms. Vitrue, what kind of a man tears his own family out of their home.” Mrs. Peterson said.

“Why don’t you request to take the home and only half of the net value?” I asked.

“The house is really not that great, I’d just sell it in a year.” She pulled at her tight curls with her manicured nails.

“So you don’t want the house?” I looked at her curiously.

“I want retaliation. He humiliated me when he left me for my assistant.” She scrunched up her nose in disgust.

“Unfortunately Mrs. Peterson, that will not play out in court.” I raised my eyebrows.

“Fine. The house and half our net value.” She crossed her arms, “And his car.”

“You want his car too?” i felt myself try to keep my Incredulous tone neutral.

“Mrs. Peterson, with all due respect...You don’t even make a quarter of Mr. Peterson’s income. His lawyers will not agree to these terms, you are asking for too much.” I sighed.

“Just try.” She demanded.

“Okay. I will write up a contract and I’ll have you come back next week to review it.” I said softly, checking the time. It was 4:30 and my mother expected me at her house for dinner by 5.

****

Mrs. Peterson left my office and almost immediately I grabbed my briefcase and ran to my car. I drove as fast as I could get away with without being pulled over for dangerous driving. I sighed a breath of relief when the ‘Ilderton Arena’ sign came into view. I parked my car and then jogged across the wet pavement, the heels of my pumps clicking rhythmically. I looked around the ice arena for a little girl with blonde pigtails but she wasn’t on the ice. I made my way around the rink, the panic starting to set in. Where was Elly?  I started jogging towards the locker room looking out of place in my straight legged plaid dress pants and blazer. 

****

“Mommy?” I heard Elly’s tiny little voice from above.

“Eleanor, what are you doing in the bleachers?” I asked, feeling myself relax.

“You’re late!” She scrunched up her freckled nose.

“I know, I’m sorry. I was supposed to leave the office at three but got held up.” I started climbing the bleachers towards where my daughter was perched, her skating bag beside her.

“You made Mr. Moir late for his dinner party.” She frowned.

“Who is Mr. Moir?” I asked her, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m Mr. Moir.” I heard the voice call from behind me, “I’m Eleanor’s new skating coach.”

“Oh. I wasn’t aware Elly had a new coach.” I said, turning to face the man. My god, he was gorgeous. His dark brown hair curled around the nape of his neck and his hazel eyes were soft and inclusive. Attractive men are worthy of warning bells.

“You must be Mrs. Virtue.” he said stretching his hand out to shake mine.

“Ms. Virtue, actually.” I corrected, “What happened to Carol?”

“My aunt just had hip surgery and she needs to cut back, she’s focusing on her synchronized skaters.” He said, softly. I bit the inside of my cheek, my brow furrowed.

“Is there an issue with me coaching your daughter Ms. Virtue?” Mr. Moir asked.

“Mommy hates men.” Elly said loudly. I felt my cheeks flushed with embarrassment but Mr. Moir chuckled.

“That is not true.” I defended looking at my daughter’s smug grin.

“Yes it is. You always say that men ruin everything.” Elly grinned.

“Eleanor Jane Virtue!” I scoffed, the embarrassment reddening my neck.

“I’d hate to ruin this lovely first impression Ms. Virtue, but as Eleanor has stated, I am very late for a dinner party.” Scott nodded and then turned on his heel, “I’ll see you Monday Elly, great work today kid.”

“Bye Mr. Moir.” Elly said softly, her eyes following him to the door.

“Thanks a lot kid!” I shook my head.

“You know, you might end up liking him, mommy. Mr. Moir is really nice.” Elly took my hand and we walked back to my car.

“Maybe El, now buckle your seat belt. Grandma doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

****

I felt my phone buzz at least three times on the drive out to London. We were twenty minutes late to my mom’s house for dinner and she must be worried sick. It was not like me to be late. We didn’t have time to run home to change so I was still in my work clothes and Elly was in her skating dress and pigtails. It was just grandma’s house, it wasn’t like it was a party. I jumped out of the car as soon as it stopped grabbing a bottle of wine from the trunk (A gift from a client). Elly ran up to the door and twisted the handle letting herself inside. I followed closely behind her calling out for my mom.

****

“Mom! I’m so sorry I’m late, I got held up at work and then Elly got a new skating coach, some gorgeous, smug, hockey playing type that just screams heartbreaker.” I called into the empty room. Then suddenly my sister Jordan came through the kitchen door looking like she just saw a ghost.

“Hey! I didn’t know you were going to be here.” I held open my arms for a hug.

“Tess!” Jordan stood still looking over her shoulder, rejecting my hug.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, Elly ran past her aunt into the kitchen.

“Mr. Moir?” I heard Elly’s sweet little voice from in the kitchen.

“Hello Eleanor.” Oh. My. God. That was Mr. Moir’s voice.

“What’s going on?” I whispered to Jordan, matching her expression.

“Mom invited Scott for dinner after she dropped Elly at practise this afternoon. Scott’s mom is her friend from spin class….I texted you.” Jordan shrugged.

“What do I do now?” I looked for my escape...it was too late.

“Hello again Ms. Virtue.” Scott came through the door. I giggle sheepishly.

“Hi…” I shrugged.

“I assure you I’m not a heartbreaker and I’m an icedancer, not hockey although I do like the sport. Has nobody told you it’s rude to make assumptions about people?” I raised an eyebrow at me. I just chuckled nervously.

“Tessa! There you are.” My mom hugged me. “I see you have met Scott, come meet his parents. Alma is in my spin class and you remember her husband Joe, right? He fixed my porch last summer.” My mom dragged me past Scott to meet his parents. I shook their hands wishing the world would just swallow me whole.

****

Luckily my less than ideal entrance was quickly dismissed when Jordan’s kids Jenna

and Matius played a little too rough with Elly sending her in fits of tears. I ran over to my small child who had landed face first in the grass, her pink skating dress torn.

****

“It was an accident!” Jenna cried.

“I know honey, go inside and wash up for dinner. I’m not mad at you, okay.” I said softly to the ten year old girl who looked like a spitting image of my sister.

“Okay Auntie Tessa.” Jenna grabbed her younger brothers arm and dragged him in the house.

“What happened Eleanor?” I asked drawing my daughter to my chest.

“We were...playing...tag...and...and...and then Matius ran in….in front of me...And I tripped...and Jenna landed on...on top of me.” Elly worked out between sobs.

“Where does it hurt?” I ran my hand gently through her blonde pigtail.

“Right here.” Elly pointed at her dress.

“It hurts on your dress?” i asked her.

“Yes mommy.” She sniffled.

“And that’s it?” I asked picking her up.

“It’s ruined.” She dug her face into my shoulder and sobbed harder. Scott came out on to the back porch and rushed to my side. I wish he’d just go away.

“Is she okay?” he asked placing his hand gently on Elly’s back.

“Yeah, she will be alright, she’s just a little sad because her dress is torn.” I said softly.

“Maybe mommy can sew.” Scott said to Elly who looked up at him.

“Mommy can’t sew.” She sniffled.

“Well maybe if you bring it to the rink on Monday I can fix it for you.”

“Really?” Elly gasped.

“Really!” He smiled.

“You can sew?” I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Yes Tessa, I know how to sew.” He looked equal parts insulted and amused.

“Thanks.” I said through gritted teeth, “I think my mom wants us inside now for dinner.”

****

Dinner was fine. My mom’s dinners are always really great, what made it only fine was the interrogation from Joe and Alma, the sickening displays of affection between Jordan and her husband Mark (“Oh Mark, remember we tried this wine when we went to the cottage last summer? Remember those delicious pumpkin scones from that lakeside cafe? The pumpkin tasted so fresh.”...Pumpkins aren’t even in season until October, dumbass.), and the fact that my daughter looked at Scott Moir like he hung the moon and the stars. I tried to focus on my piece of chicken as the discussion around the table got more and more obvious that this dinner was planned as a set up. A set up between myself and my daughter’s skating coach, Scott Moir.

****

“Do you enjoy hockey, Tessa?” Joe asked.

“No. Not really.” I said.

“Oh, but Tessa, you love watching the Leaf’s Games.” My mom said.

“You do? That’s great, because Scott has season tickets. Maybe he’ll take you to a game.” Alma suggested. I looked across the table to Scott who looked equally unamused.

“So Scott, you won a few Olympic Medals didn’t you?” My mom casually asked.

“Uh, yeah. But not without the help of my skating partner.” He said, too humble to meet my eye.

“What is your partner up to these days?” My mom pried.

“Meryl moved to Chicago with her husband. I think she designs shoes or something now.” Scott shrugged.

“And Tessa, what is it that you do for a living?” Alma asked, trying to read her sons expression.

“I’m a family lawyer.” I said, sipping my wine.

“Oh, family law? That must be a very rewarding career.” Joe added.

“Not really. I help selfish, unhappy people tear their own families apart and fight over material values.” I said flatly. Suddenly Scott perked up.

“Why do you do it then?” He asked.

“I do it for the children.” I said honestly, avoiding my mother’s eyes. “The kids involved never get a say and their parents are too engrossed in their own hurt and need for retaliation that they forget who they are fighting for. I do my job to make sure the children get the best of bad situation.” Scott smiled across from me.

“That’s really nice, Tessa.” Scott’s eyes softened.

“Why do you teach skating?” I asked, “You’ve done it for so long, don’t you want to try something else?”

“Not at all. I love my sport. It’s my passion and I love being able to share it with young minds. I don’t teach for the income, I teach for the outcome.” He smiled across the table at me, “I’m not so different from you Tessa, I do it for the children.”

****

I looked across the table at Scott, unable to pull my eyes away. It was almost like he was thinking the same thing, like we were looking at each other for the first time without any preconceived expectations or assumptions. He was a blank slate and for the first time my cynical mind wasn't making him out to be some horrible monster because I was terrified of hurt. I made out his features. His lidded eyes, the shadow around his chin, the hook of his nose and the sharp edges of his jaw. I wish I knew what he thought about me.

****

“Scott could have easily continued competing if it hadn’t been for the accident.” Alma said.

“What accident?” Jordan asked him from across the table.

“Seven years ago Scott left Canada with Meryl to train with Marie-France and Patrice in France. Scott’s girlfriend Kaitlyn begged him not to go and she gave him an ultimatum. She told him if he moved to France that she would leave him. They broke it off and Scott chose skating, although he loved her very much. A year later Scott got a call from a friend saying Kaitlyn was in an accident and had died. He came home on the next flight and he missed the Olympics.” Alma said dramatically.

“Mom, was that really necessary?” Scott glared at his mother.

“Oh my god Scott, I’m so sorry!” Jordan gasped.

“My mother died in a car crash, her name was Kaitlyn too.” Elly said, nonchalant. Suddenly the entire room was silent and looking at my daughter who was eating her carrots.

“But your mother is sitting beside you.” Alma chuckled.

“Eleanor is adopted.” My mother said to her, red as a tomato. My heart stopped as I started to do the math. The room was silent again and it looked like everyone was doing the same thing. I watched Scott’s face as it changed from confusion to anger to sadness.

“Oh my word.” Joe said at the other end of the table looking down to his son.

“But Elly’s birth certificate said that the father was unknown. Oh. OH!” Mark said looking at Jordan who was glaring at him.

“Thanks Mark.” Kate said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at her son-in-law.

****

Suddenly Elly looked up from her plate and realized that all the adults were staring at her. She looked from me, to Scott, to her grandma, and then Alma Moir. All our expressions the same look of horror.

“What?” Elly looked at me, “What’s wrong mama?”

“Oh my god, she’s got his eyes.” Alma said, starting to cry.

“I got whose eyes?” Elly turned towards Alma. “Why are you crying?”

“They think you’re Mr. Moir’s daughter.” Jenna said.

“Jenna!” Jordan scolded her daughter, who shrugged and sunk lower into her chair.

****

Elly contorted her face into a look of confusion and then looked between all the silent adults waiting for an explanation. After nobody said anything for a full minute Elly looked across the table to Scott and started studying him, he did the same thing back. Scott drew in a deep shaky breath and opened his mouth to speak.

****

“Please excuse me.” He stood up and walked out of the room.

“Mama?” Elly looked up at me from where she was sitting. I couldn’t hold back anymore, no matter how hard I tried to be strong I could feel the pain and sadness winning. I swatted away a stray tear that rolled down my cheek.

“Tessa-” Alma started.

“Please! Just be quiet.” I snapped, My mom gasped.

“Why do they think that?” Elly nudged me in the side.

“I’m sorry, please excuse me.” I said hanging my head. Jordan stood up too but I shook my head in her direction and she sat back down.

****

I walked into my mom’s back garden and saw Scott Moir leaning up against the railing with his head in his hands. I wanted to run far, far away but if I was feeling as curious and broken as I was, he must be feeling even worse. I walked over to him and gently placed my hand on his back. 

“Scott.” I whispered, running my hand up and down his spine. He didn’t speak he just sniffled.

“Scott, look at me.” He didn’t move so I placed my hand on his cheek, “Please just look at me.” He picked his head up and his eyes were red and glossy.

“Her name was Kaitlyn Lawes. She was the love of my life.” Scott cried.

“That was Elly’s mother’s name, that is what it said on her birth certificate, Kaitlyn Amelia Lawes. When I adopted her it was because she had no existing family documented and she would have ended up in the system. She was only six months old.” I explained.

“Kait’s mother’s name was Eleanor. She passed away when Kait was twenty-three.” Scott sniffled. “I didn’t know she had a child.”

“Scott-” I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“I want a paternity test.” He said, his voice rising.

“I am so, so sorry this happened to you, but you are not taking my daughter away from me.” I stepped away from him.

“Mommy?” Elly was suddenly standing in the doorway to the garden.

“Yes sweetie?” I said softly turning towards my daughter who looked like she wanted to cry.

“Can we go home?” Elly’s chin started to quiver.

“Of course.” I glanced over at Scott once more before picking Elly up in my arms and returning back inside.

****

Everyone was still at the table talking amongst themselves in hushed voices. They all stopped talking and sat up straight as soon as I entered the room with my small daughter in my arms, crying softly into my shoulder.

****

“Elly and I are going to go now. Thank-you for dinner mom, it was...lovely. It was a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Moir. Good-night.” I nodded curtly and then got the hell out of that house and back into my car as quickly as possible.


	2. Scotty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa gives Scott a chance to get to know their daughter. A frustrating employee causes a scene at the local pizzeria that gives Elly her first glimpse into her father's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Thank-you everyone so much for the comments. I was worried that this whole kid fic thing was over done but I'm really pleased that you liked my idea. I'm posting the second and third chapters together because they were supposed to be one idea and one chapter but it ended up being a bit of a mammoth. I would also like to say that this fic has a LOT of dialogue opposed to personal thoughts and feelings. I appreciate the feedback. <3

2)

****

I woke up Saturday morning with crust stinging the corner of my eyes. After putting Elly to bed I curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep. Everything was so damn good since I adopted Elly. I wouldn’t be able to survive if someone took my baby away, she was my everything. I rubbed my eyes to rid of the sleep and adjust to the light that was streaming in through the window. I rolled on to my back and felt a lump weighing me down. I blinked to focus my eyes and saw a head of blonde hair resting on my tummy. At some point in the night Elly must have left her bed and climbed up into mine. She was already a small child but she looked like a toddler curled into a ball against my side in her Paw Patrol pajamas. I shuffled out from under her trying not to wake her up as I reached for my phone on the nightstand. I held down the power button turning it on, greeted by 7 missed calls. Most of them from my mother but a few from Jordan too. I sighed putting my phone back down and Elly stirred beside me waking up. I ran my fingers through her hair making a mental note that she needed to get the long golden locks trimmed. 

****

“Mama.” Elly burrowed into my side and then sat up beside me.

“Good morning princess.” I kissed her warm temple.

“I’m sorry for crying at grandma’s.” I knew she wasn’t referring to when she fell.

“Elly, we need to talk about last night, okay?” I looked into her soft hazel eyes. Now I could see it.

“Okay.” Elly looked at me doubtfully.

“So last night when Mr. Moir- Scott was talking about his girlfriend who passed-”

“Kaitlyn.” Elly said.

“Yes, Kaitlyn. Well it turns out she might be the same Kaitlyn as your birth mother.” I said softly. “Which means Scott might be your birth father.”

“If he’s my dad, then why didn’t he come get me?” Elly said sadly.

“Because sweetie, Scott didn’t know about you. He didn’t know he had a daughter until last night.” I tried to explain.

“So what now, mom?” Elly searched my eyes for answers to questions I didn’t know the answer to.

“I don’t know,” I chose honesty, “What would you like to happen?”

“I like Mr. Moir...but you’re my mommy.” Elly said sadly.

“Don’t worry, i will always be your mommy. Nothing will change that.” I squeezed her shoulder. “But you get to decide where Mr.Moir fits into our life.”

“Oh. I get to choose?” Elly suddenly looked hopeful.

“Yes, you get to choose.” I smiled down at Elly who suddenly doesn’t look so scared.

“Okay. Then I guess you should marry Mr. Moir so I can have my mommy and daddy together.” Elly said innocently, I felt my mouth fall open and my eyebrows shoot up to my hairline.

“Oh. Uhm. That’s not quite what I meant.” I felt myself blush.

“Well, you said I get to choose.” Elly narrowed her eyes at me.

“That I did kid, that I did.” I was kicking myself for having a smart-ass kid, wondering how I was going to dig myself out of this hole I created. Just when I was able to articulate a plan my phone started buzzing on my bedside table. I looked at Elly and she looked at me, before I had the opportunity to reach over and grab my phone Elly was flying over top of me. She grabbed my phone and jumped off the bed running to the other side of the room where she sat on my vanity chair, crossing one leg over the other.

****

“Hello?” Elly smirked at me as I tried to slide off my bed.

“Oh...Hi Mr. Moir.” Elly’s eyes grew wide and she ran across the room meeting me halfway, pushing my phone into my stomach.

“Hello?” I said into the phone.

“Tessa?” He sounded troubled.

“Yeah, it’s me.” I said shrugging to Elly who suddenly looked really shy.

“I was wondering if maybe you’d like to grab coffee...So we could talk.” He didn’t sound too confident, either.

“Oh, uhm. Look Scott, I don’t think-”

“Tessa, please just hear me out.” His voice was shaky.

“Okay.” I sighed, Elly was standing next to me looking up with wide eyes.

“I...I don’t really know how to do this but...But I want to be part of Eleanor’s life. If she’s my daughter I want to make up the years that I’ve lost.” He said softly.

“I know.” I sighed. “Last night was a lot, I’m sorry.”

“It was a lot. Damn Virtue, you really know how to make a morbid first impression.” Scott said, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I think between me being late, offensive, and blurting out that I think you’re gorgeous in front of your parents was bad enough. Not to mention that I also happen to be the mother of the daughter you didn’t know you had.” Now we were both laughing and Elly was jumping up and down to try and hear what we were saying.

“How is Eleanor taking it?” He asked.

“She’s going to need some time but she’s a smart girl, she’ll figure out how she wants this to work.” I smiled down at Elly who nodded in agreement.

“She must get that from her father.” Scott joked.

“How humble of you.” I teased. There was a pause of just silence on the other end.

“So Tessa? How about that coffee?” I could tell he was holding his breath.

“I don’t think I can find a babysitter, can Elly come?” I asked.

“Yes, of course. Maybe we can walk in the park.” He sounded hopeful.

“What’s he saying mom?” Elly begged.

“Do you want to go to the park today with Scott?” I asked Elly.

“Okay.” She looked nervous again.

“How is 11?” I asked.

“11 works great, Ivey Park is really nice.” Scott suggested.

“In London.” I nodded to Elly who has climbed back onto my bed.

“If that is okay.” I could hear him thinking.

“Yeah that’s fine.” I softened my tone.

“Great, I’ll bring the coffee and I’ll see you at 11.” 

“I’ll see you then!” I was about to hang up the phone.

“And Tessa!” He said quickly, “What kind of coffee do you drink? And is Elly allowed hot chocolate?”

“I like Almond milk cappuccinos. Also yes, Elly loves hot chocolate.” I winked at Elly who perked up at the mention of a treat.

“Sounds great.” He chuckled.

“I’ll see you soon, Scott.” I hung up the phone ready to explain our day with an eager little girl.

****

Elly was playing on the playground with her school mate Vivienne when Scott arrived. I was surprised to see Elly’s friend because Ivey Park was in central London and we lived in Masonville. Scott sat down on the bench next to me with a tray of coffee’s on his lap. As he leaned over to kiss me quickly on the cheek I couldn’t help but catch Mrs. Lou’s eye from the other side of the playground. I hated the way that she smirked at me in this stupid smug way.

****

“Hi Tess.” He said, handing me a coffee cup.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“Awe! Look at her go.” Scott pointed to where Elly was scooting down a slide. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. It’s like it’s his first time watching kids play.

“I talked to her this morning.” I said, still watching him watch her.

“And?”

“And I explained to her what this all means. I asked her what she’d like to do with...This information.” I said cautiously.

“And what did she say?” He turned his body towards me.

“She likes you Scott, but it has only ever been just her and me. I don’t think she really even understands what it means to have a father.” I explained.

“It’s a blank slate.” He said, concentrating on his thoughts.

“Yes. A blank slate.” I repeated, looking straight ahead.

“Hey Tess, can I ask you something?” Scott bit his lip nervously.

“Okay.” I swallowed a lump in my throat.

“Why is it that you hate men so much?”

“It’s not that I hate them, I just don’t trust them.” I said in a flat voice, thinking about my fathers.

“Then how are you going to trust me?” He asked in a tone that made him sound like a child.

“I don’t know.” I couldn’t think about this right now.

“Who hurt you so badly that you’re so comfortable generalizing half the world's population.” He pressed on.

“This isn’t about me Scott, this is about Elly. She’s the one who needs to trust you.” I turned to him.

“And you’re her mother and what you say, goes.” He shot back.

“Imagine being a fifteen year old girl sitting on your mother’s porch in the freezing cold the night before Christmas, wondering if your dad will ever come home. Imagine crying into your older brother’s arms months later when daddy still hasn’t come home, while your sister yells at you for being so damn naive. Imagine dating three guys in a row, all of which cheat on you before leaving you for a more desirable woman. Imagine forcing a smile every time you have family dinners looking at the head of the table where dad used to sit and seeing Mark, the man who chose Jordan second. I see unhappy marriages more than I see happy ones. When I adopted Eleanor I did it on my own so things would be neat and tidy and stable, not messy.” I felt myself getting worked up.

“I’m sorry Tessa, I truly am. But I’m not like that.” He placed his hand on my arm.

“Then prove it.” I said in a voice so cold it could freeze your core.

“I plan to.” He squeezed my arm and leaned in closer to me. I turned to face him and he was trying to match my scowl only inches from my face.

“Are you guys going to kiss?” Elly’s voice appeared next to us.

“What?” I drew myself back first, “No, of course not.”

“Then why were you so close?” She looked at Scott.

“We were...talking.” He shrugged.

“Is that for me?” Elly asked him, her eyes finding the tray with a little coffee cup next to a big one.

“It is!” He smiled at her, “Do you like hot chocolate?”

“I love it!” He handed her the cup, “Thank-you Mr. Moir...Or Scott...Or Da-” Elly stopped abruptly looking at me with panic.

“It’s okay Elly, whatever feels comfortable for you.” I smiled, “Right Scott?”

“Right! We are going at your pace, alrighty kiddo?” He leaned down so he was eye level with Elly.

“Okay.” She looked like she thinking hard about what she wanted to call him.

“Elly did you say bye to Vivienne?” I asked, looking past Elly at Vivienne who was having a snack on the bench beside her mother who was watching us with a judgemental look.

“Who is that?” Scott followed my gaze.

“That’s Mrs. Lou and her daughter Vivienne. Mrs. Lou was a client of mine a few years back. Vivienne is in Elly’s class, isn’t she Elly?” I asked my daughter who was too busy drinking her chocolate to answer.

“Why does she look so disapproving?” He chuckled.

“She probably thinks we’re together.” I leaned closer so I could whisper to Scott, “I think that woman hates men more than I do. Her husband divorced her after he found her in bed with another woman.”

“I think you’re reading this all wrong T.” Scott chuckled turning towards me so he could whisper into my ear. I shivered at his breath against my neck, “I think Mrs. Lou has the hots for you and is intimidated by me.” I tilted my head back with laughter.

“Get real, Moir.” I gave him a nudge in the side with my elbow.

“You guys are doing it again!” Elly wined. 

“Doing what, Elly?” I leaned across Scott to look at my daughter who sat on the bench next to him.

“Kissing!” She pursed her lips at me.

“We are not!” I raised my eyebrows at her, my cheeks turning red.

“You are too!” Elly crossed her arms.

“Sorry Elly.” Scott cleared his throat nervously, “I was just telling your mom something.”

“Are you guys going to get married?” Elly looked at Scott with puppy dog eyes.

“What? Right now? In this park?” Scott teased.

“No Scotty! That’s silly, mommy needs a white dress.” Elly giggled.

“I’m wearing a white blouse, isn’t that good enough?” I teased.

“No! Also this morning you said you didn’t want to marry Scotty.” Elly challenged me. My blush deepened.

“You said that?” Scott looked at me.

“Maybe?” I knew I looked like a guilty woman.

“Wow Tess, I’m hurt. And here I was ready to get down on one knee.” Scott said sarcastically. I laughed, my whole belly shaking.

“Scotty!” Elly erupted with laughter.

“Also when did you decide to call me Scotty?” Scott wiggled his nose at Elly.

“Just a few minutes ago.” Elly said honestly.

“I usually hate that nickname but it’s kind of cute coming from you.” He smiled, the wrinkles next to his eyes crinkling.

“Can I say it?” Elly stopped laughing to wait for his permission.

“You can own it, kiddo.” He patted her knee. We kinda looked like a family.

****

After what felt like hours of fun in the park Elly started to complain that she was hungry. Instead of going home Scott suggested we go for lunch, I wanted to say no because I had a house that needed to be cleaned but I gave in knowing that what he really wanted was more time. We are now sitting at a pizzeria only a few minutes away from my house and Elly is sitting next to Scott looking over his arm at his menu despite having her own. I couldn’t help but smile at how sweet he was with her despite the anger in the pit of my stomach that’s telling me he won’t stick around and that I shouldn’t become attached. I was shaken out of my internalization when the server came over to take our order.

****

“What can I get you to drink?” The lady asked, looking at Scott.

“Oh, uhm. Tess, what would you like?” He smiled warmly at me. I could feel my  heart sing.

“I’ll get an iced tea please.” I said to the lady who was still looking at Scott.

“Elly?” Scott turned to my little girl who was now hiding her face into the sleeve of his shirt. She mumbled something but neither of us could really hear.

“Awe, your daughter is so sweet.” The lady leaned forward placing her hand on the back of Scott’s chair. Elly’s head popped up at the mention of ‘daughter’.

“Thanks.” Scott said nervously, looking at me. I smiled in encouragement. The server was acting like I wasn’t even there.

“Elly, tell the lady what you’d like to drink.” I said to Elly who was still holding on to Scott.

“Water please.” Elly said, smiling at the lady.

“And I’ll get a diet coke, please.” Scott smiled up at the girl who was still making eyes at him.

“Sounds great...You’re Scott Moir, right?” The girl flicked her ponytail, giggly.

“I am.” He smiled awkwardly.

“I’m a huge fan.” The lady who looked about 25 leaned towards him again.

“Thank-you! Although it’s been years since I have been on competitive ice.” Scott smiled weakly.

“Now I know why.” The girl chuckled. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

****

I looked at Scott who looked back at me with an apologetic look. I mean, I guess this was expected. Scott Moir was after all the most decorated ice dancer ever. Even though its almost been a decade since his last gold medal he is still worshipped in Canada. 

****

“Sorry.” He shrugged. I smiled to try and reassure him.

“It’s okay, Scott, we don’t mind.” I said calmly.

“You will tomorrow.” He shrugged, “I should have been more careful.”

“Tomorrow?” I raised my eyebrows not understanding.

“That girl has made a scene and I saw three other people taking photos, before we know it this is going to be in the tabloids. They can get pretty mean Tess.” He said looking at Elly with an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay.” I placed my hand over his to reassure him. He smiled and his shoulders relaxed. Suddenly the server was back with our drinks. She placed them on the table and I couldn’t help but notice that she forgot my iced tea. I didn’t say anything because her back was turned to me and she was talking to Scott again.

“Would it be okay if I got a picture with you?” The girl asked. Scott looked embarrassed.

“Uhm, I’m not-” Scott looked around her to me.

“It’s okay, I can take it.” i said. Finally the girl turned to me handing over her phone.

“Your friend is so nice.” The lady said. Scott stood up and put his arm around the girl, putting on his fakest media smile.

“Okay, one, two, -” I held up the camera.

“Wait!” The girl said, “We need the little girl.” Elly was still in her seat watching curiously.

“You’ll have to ask her mother if that’s alright.” Scott said. The server looked between me and Scott with a curious expression.

“Oh. OH! I had no idea. I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were married.” The lady turned to me, all the colour drained out of my face.

“We...” I looked at Elly who was now smirking like she thought this entire scene was so funny.

“Sharon, can you take this picture so I can get Scott, Mrs.Moir and their daughter in it too?” The server snatched her phone out of my hand and was now thrusting it into the stomach of her co-worker. The co-worker smiled and held up the phone to take a picture. I just looked at Scott completely horrified. He grabbed my hand pulling me into him and then wrapping his arm around my waist. He whispered into my ear, ‘I’m so sorry, forgive me.’ The server, who really should be helping her other customers scooted to the other side of Scott putting her arm around him. She waved Elly over who was looking between me and Scott like she had a billion questions. Scott gave her warm smile and a wink which gave her enough encouragement to get into the shot. I felt Scott’s fingers squeeze my side and Elly hugging my leg as we all forced smiles with some girl in a red polo shirt we did not know. Scott took a few more pictures with customers and some lady was so starstruck that she accidentally bumped into Elly knocking her down, I decided enough was enough. I found the server who caused the scene and went to talk to her, holding Elly’s hand so she doesn’t get trampled again.

“Hey, could we just get a large pepperoni pizza to go? It’s getting a little crazy in here.” I said, the girl looked me up and down.

“She looks a lot like her father, I don’t see much of you in her at all.” I started feeling myself getting angry.

“So, you got that order right?” I raised my eyebrows looking over my shoulder at Scott who was being pulled in about 6 different directions.

“He would have done another Olympics if you could have just waited like..one more year.” The girl laughed but I didn’t think her joke was funny. “I totally understand though. If I had the opportunity to be with Scott freaking Moir I would trap him too. He’s such an amazing guy, so chivalrous and damn he’s even more gorgeous now that I know he’s a daddy.” 

“Forget the pizza.” I said slapping a $5 bill in the girls hand for the drinks and then turning on my heel picking Elly up. I walked through the crowd of people until I reached Scott grabbing his hand. He looked up at me worried and I just shook my head.

“Lets just go Scott.” I said, aggravated.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know this was going to happen.” He frowned. Elly kept sliding down on my hip and Scott noticed. He grabbed Elly transferring her from my hip to his. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and then almost immediately Scott picked my hand back up. We walked out of the pizza parlour and back to our cars.

“But I’m hungry.” Elly wined. I put her into her booster in the back of my car.

“Tessa please,” Scott placed his hands on my hips and pleaded with his eyes. “Don’t leave.”

“Why don’t we just go back to my place and we can order a pizza in?” I sighed.

“Are you sure?” He asked nervously.

“Positive.” I said looking straight into his eyes.

“Okay, I’ll follow you out.” He said smiling and returning to his car.

“See you later, Mr. Alligator.” Elly whispered, placing her hand on the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying the character of Eleanor. I really wanted to give her her own individual personality. Nature Vs. Nurture is giving this little diva equal parts Tessa and Scott, and a little bit of Kaitlyn.


	3. No, I Got It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally get to eat that pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one isn't very long but its full of stuff. Enjoy :)

3)

 

          When Scott arrived at my house I was a little nervous about welcoming him into the most intimate and telling part of my life. I apologized repeatedly about the mess, which he returned with an eye-roll and the comment, ‘Do you even live here? It looks like a show home. Why is everything white?” This comment made me giggle and I relaxed into the situation, realizing that the single sweater hung over my cream coach and Elly’s collection of Sylvanians lined up on the hardwood floor was far from messy. Elly dragged Scott up to her room while I ordered the pizza we were supposed to eat an hour ago. After about ten minutes and Elly’s squeak of laughter I decided to check up on Scott. Scott looked like a giant drag queen sitting on the edge of Elly’s captain bed wearing three feather boas with his hockey hair pulled up into a sparkly scrunchie. I erupted with laughter as Elly carefully lined her skating makeup all over Scott's face. He looked to the door and stuck out his bottom lip into a pout.

      “Look what your daughter is doing to me.” He tried to hide his smirk but his eyes gave him away.

      “My daughter? Last time I checked she was your daughter.” I chuckled sitting down next to him.

       “What do you say Elly? Should we do mommy next?” Scott tickled Elly’s tummy.

       “Yeah!” Elly jumped up and down. “I got the perfect outfit!” 

 

       Elly ran out of her room on a mission. I couldn't help but laugh at Scott who had purple eye shadow right up to his eyebrows. His lips were Barbie pink and Elly’s inexperienced hand went outside the line making it look like he had plump Kylie Jenner lips. She also seemed to use the wrong brush for his bronzer creating the effect of brown circles on his cheeks. He watched me as I studied his makeup. The fact that he was so secure with his masculinity made me feel dangerous feelings low in my belly. Just as I bit my lower lip nervously, Elly returned with one of my old tutus. 

       “Go put this on mommy.” Elly smiled at Scott who smirked at the baby bell tutu and deep V bodice with lace embroidery.

      “You can't be serious.” I groaned, “Why does Scott get boas and I have to put on a full costume?”

       “He doesn't fit.” Elly giggled.Scott raised his eyebrows at me.

       “Elly, mommy wore this when she was a teenager.” I said.

        “Please!” Elly begged.

 

       I gave Scott one last eye roll before locking myself in my bedroom. I took off my blouse and pants and replaced them for grey leggings and a white tank top. I pulled the bodice over my head and tightened it as best I could although I was likely half the size when I wore it last. The Tutu I slipped on over my leggings and it felt like a lifetime since I last danced. Tutu used to be my nickname growing up yet somehow dance seemed like such a small part of my life now. I miss it. I returned to Elly’s room wearing the costume and Elly laughed hysterically until she realized Scott wasn't laughing with her. He was gawking at me like he's never seen a mom playing dress up before.

      “Mommy you look like a princess.” Elly patted the bed next to Scott. I willingly sat down, the Tutu laying across Scott's lap. He picked up a piece of tulle between his fingers.

      “Thanks El.” I pinched at the boning that stuck into my hip.

      “Makeup time Scotty!” Elly picked up my blush brush dipping it generously into my powder bronzer.

      “You want me to help?” He asked, looking at me for permission. I shrugged and then nodded.

      “You can do her lips.” Elly handed him a couple sticks of lipstick. Scott looked through the colours and then decided on a deep red. I watched him carefully. He swallowed nervously, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he looked from my eyes to my lips and then back to my eyes. He reached up to hold my chin in his left hand while he brought the lipstick to my lips with his right. The room suddenly went quiet and Scott's jaw stiffened as he concentrated on my lips. He slowly began dragging the colour along my slightly parted lips. After he finished the top lip he exhaled a breath he had been holding. He glanced back up to my eyes and then licked his own lips as he started to colour my bottom lip. His left hand dropped from my chin and slid down the side of my neck to rest on my collar bone while he concentrated on my makeup. I was concentrating on the burning sensation his fingertips left on my collar bone and I didn't even notice that he had slipped a bit leaving lipstick below my lip in a smudge. I let out a little gasp when I felt his thumb drag along my lower lip to clean up his mess. My eyes met his and he cleared his throat nervously. My breathing quickened and then suddenly the doorbell rang pulling us out of the trance we seemed to be in. Scott jumped away from me like I was dangerous and Elly blinked rapidly as though she couldn't believe what was happening. I got up first rushing down the stairs ignoring my tutu which hit every damn wall on my way to the door. I swung open the door to a teenage boy who couldn't hide his amusement. He full on laughed when Scott came to the door behind me.

      “I got it.” He said, his breath on my ear sent shivers down my spine.

      “No, no, I got it.” I leaned back into him in attempt to push him away but it had the opposite effect, his strong arm wrapped around my waist holding me into him as he stretches his credit card out towards the boy.

      “No! I got it.” Elly squeezed herself through and handed the teenager a stack of monopoly money which caused all four of us to keel over with laughter. Scott's chest shook with tumbles of laughter against my back and for what seemed to be the tenth time that day, warning bells went off in my head as a warmth filled my tummy. The teenager ended up taking Scott's card and I untangled myself from him carrying our pizza into the kitchen. 

 

      I busied myself with setting the table but what was really happening was the mental internalization where I convinced myself that I was not attracted to my daughter's father. Because it was wrong. Because it was complicated. Because it wasn't real. Because he'd just leave eventually. And because it was messy. When I turned around Scott was watching me, his face serious although his outfit goofy.

      “I think Elly got lipstick on your shirt.” I pointed at his chest.

      “It's okay, I can get it out.” He moved closer towards me and I quickly backed away pulling out a chair between us.

      “Sit!” I said a little too demanding. “Elly come eat your pizza.” I called.

       “Tessa, is everything alright?” Scott sat down and I moved to the other side of the table and sat down.

       “Mhmm, of course. Why wouldn't it be?” I asked, my voice strained.

       “You just seem...nevermind.” He shrugged and Elly broke the tension when she sat down next to Scott.

 

      We ate our pizza in comfortable silence. It didn't even occur to us how late it was and how ravenous we all felt until we started eating. It was nearly 6pm and this was supposed to be lunch. Between the three of us we finished the entire pizza and then leaned back in our chairs full and satisfied. I went into the kitchen and dished out Ice cream while Elly and Scott made themselves comfortable in front of the TV which was playing ‘Finding Dory.’ I brought out the dessert and raised my eyebrows at Elly who scooted to the floor and off of my cream couch. I gave her the bowl and she ate as much as her little tummy would fit. I sat on the couch next to Scott and it felt like the most natural thing when he put his arm around the back of the couch behind me. 

 

      I didn't mean to spend my entire Saturday with Scott, one thing just led to another and now Elly was stretched across the couch fast asleep with her head in my lap. I tangled my fingers into her golden hair as the credits to the movie came to an end. Somehow we shifted during the course of the movie so Scott's arm was around my shoulders and I was pressed against his side. We looked like we should be modelling for a family magazine. I looked up at Scott and he had already been looking down at me. His expression relaxed and sleepy.

      “I should go.” He said softly.

      “Okay.” I said sadly. Okay? No not okay, absolutely. Get it together Tessa. Do. Not. Get. Attached. 

      “Thank-you for today.” He said lowering his lips down on my temple. I just realized that he still looked like a clown.

       “Let me get you a cloth before you go.” I said shifting away trying to put distance between us. I picked Elly up and started going upstairs carrying her sleeping body against me. I placed her in her bed kissing her hair before turning off her light and closing the door. I went into the bathroom and stripped out of the Tutu and then started soaking a few face clothes. That's when I remembered Elly’s skating dress that needed fixing. I dug for the pink material in the laundry hamper, pulling it from underneath some other clothes. I walked back down the stairs with the wash clothes and Elly’s dress but stopped short when I saw Scott looking at my wall of photos. His expression wasn't really readable but I couldn't tear my eyes away. He reached out and touched the delicate frame that had a picture of Elly wide eyed in front of her very first birthday cake. Elly was sitting on my lap holding on to my thumb. Her cheek had the scar from a cut right above her little dimple. A cut from the accident. Scott then moved to the next picture of my mother dancing with Elly in her back garden. Elly was only three years old and wearing her very first tutu. The photo just below that was Ella at 4 years old on her very first pair of figure skates. She was wearing a little red winnie the pooh sweater and her arms were stretched out in balance. The next photo was from this summer. She was sitting on her aunt Jordan's lap eating an ice cream cone. Her older cousins Matius and Jenna making goofy faces behind them. All the photos on my wall represent 6 years of happiness, a life that Scott didn't know he was missing. A life with one of the most special kids on the planet that has her mother's golden hair and her father's beautiful hazel eyes. A life that I feel so lucky to be part of at the cost of someone else's life. I silently moved behind Scott and he exhaled a shaky breath before turning to me. I didn't say anything, I just slowly started wiping away the makeup and with it the grief. Scott watched as I gently wiped his cheeks, lips and then eyes. Once I felt satisfied that his makeup was gone I handed him the cloth and he reciprocated. We put all our pain, insecurities and regrets into taking care of eachother even if it was just for two long minutes.

 

          “You told Elly you would fix her dress.” I handed him the skating outfit. I couldn’t even think about what was happening before it happened. Scott closed the space between us, his lips crashing onto mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I felt my entire body burn with desire. I ached so badly with need that I almost let myself fall into Scott’s trap. Almost. I pulled my lips away shoving Scott forcefully backwards. He looked like he was really confused but I knew it wasn’t confusion over the rejection. That, i made clear. 

“You need to leave.” I walked to the door holding it open for him to go. “Now.”

“Tessa, that was a mistake.” Scott looked like he was crumbling. I looked outside my door into the dark night sky.

“If you have any respect for me at all you will get the fuck out of my house.” I said through gritted teeth.

 

Scott didn’t argue, he just tucked Elly’s dress under his arm and hung his head as he walked out of my house, but not out of my life. That he was in for the long run. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up Next: Alma gets involved.


	4. Alma Moir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alma Moir messes with Tessa's head.

4) 

****

“So what are you going to do?” Jordan asked me, she was on the opposite side of my wooden desk looking all too comfortable with a newspaper spread across her lap.

“I don’t know, I’m freaking out.” I paced back and forth, my knees shaking.

“You can’t hide in here forever Tess.” Jordan flipped the page casually.

“Watch me try! These pictures make me look pathetic.” I huffed.

“Have you read the headline? ‘Scott Moir a family man. The 40 year old Olympic Champion Ice Dancer secretly married and with child’.” Jordan chuckled, “It’s like your biggest nightmare came true, being married to a gorgeous, smart, and talented man. I bet he’s incredible in bed. Have you seen his edges-”

“Jordan stop!” I flopped down into my office chair.

“Relax Tessa, it’s not like any of this is even real.” She smirked. My face fell.

“Except it is. Elly is Scott’s daughter and...and…” The tears started to collect in my eyes. My office phone started to ring.

“Tessa Virtue.” I said in my best litigator voice.

“Hello Tessa, I’m from ‘The Waterloo Chronicle’ Can I ask you a few questions about your relationship with Scott Moir?” This was the sixth call from a news writer.

“No!” I slammed my phone down and focused my attention back on Jordan.

“And what?” Jordan leaned forward folding the paper back up.

“And he kissed me.” I let a stray tear fall from my cheek.

“WHAT! I have been here for an hour, how are you just getting to that part?” Jordan scolded, but took my hand in her own to comfort me.

“It just kind of happened. He spent the whole day with Elly and I, then he was leaving after I put Elly to bed and he just kissed me. It totally took me by surprise.”

“Oh my god Tessa, are you okay? What did you do?” Jordan was now totally engrossed.

“I...I...told him to get the fuck out of my house.” I sniffled.

“Oh sweetie, why?” Jordan wiped a tear from my cheek.

“Because it was completely insane. He knows how much I distrust men and he leaned in and did it anyways. Like that was supposed to make me fond enough of him to let him break my family?” I threw my head back.

“Can I say something?” Jordan asked gently.

“We both know you’re going to anyways.” I rolled my eyes.

“Have you ever put yourself in his shoes? The man found out Friday night he was the father of a child that his ex-girlfriend, who he was still completely in love with, hid from him. His ex is now heartbreakingly dead and the person who raised his daughter is a cold hearted men-hating bitch, no offense. But how do you think he feels he fits into that? Not to mention, spending an entire day with him playing fake family...He’s probably even more confused than you are, Tessa. Not to mention completely heartbroken.” This made me cry.

“I just don’t know how to do right by Elly. I’m so fucked up, Jo.” I sniffled.

“I know, I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling...But it is possible to have Scott in your life while still keeping him at arm's length.” Jordan said,

“Like a divorced couple? I promised myself that would never happen. I was always supposed to do this on my own.” I frowned. My phone started ringing again.

“Mia! How many bloody times do I have to tell you to screen my calls. No more tabloids! Clients only!” I screamed into the air, hoping my assistant would get the hint. Seconds later she knocked on my door and peeked her blunt bobbed head into my office.

“I’m sorry Ms. Virtue, but there is a Mrs. Alma Moir here to see you.” Mia said meekly.

“Oh no, you read it too?” I wiped my tears on the back of my sleeve.

“I did. The photos were nice.” Mia said softly.

“Alright, send her in. Thanks Mia.” I said in a defeated voice and Mia gave me a weak smile before leaving.

“Well, that’s my que to leave.” Jordan stood up.

“Please don’t go.” I begged. 

“Sorry Tess, but I got to pick the kids up from school. Matius has soccer practise and Jenna has tap dance on Mondays.” Jordan said.

“Can you do me a huge favour?” I asked Jordan.

“You want me to make sure Elly’s alright?” Jordan asked.

“I’d appreciate that. Knowing mom she probably hasn’t even read the news and is completely oblivious to what’s going on. She’s supposed to drop Elly off at skating after school.” I said.

“And you’re picking her up?” Jordan’s eyebrows shot up.

“I am.” I sighed.

“With Scott Moir being her coach?” She looked like she was listening to juicy gossip.

“Yup!” I nodded, “I’m trying to keep things normal for Elly.”

****

My office door opened again and Jordan gave me one last sorry look before Alma Moir came barreling in. Jordan gave Alma a warm, polite greeting (Hello, Mrs. Moir, how are you today? Oh great. Yeah I’m very well thank-you. I must be going to pick up the kids now. Give Mr. Moir my regards. Good-bye.) And then she left me alone with the woman. Alma had already looked like she was crying and her hair was sticking up in all directions.

****

“Hello Mrs. Moir. Please take a seat.” I said, trying to remain professional. Alma filled the chair that Jordan occupied only moments earlier.

“What brings you to my office today? Are you interested in filing for divorce?” I said smartly, knowing full well that I was acting like a petty child.

“No, actually I’m here to enquire about my son.” She narrowed her eyes at me.

“Oh, does one of your sons want a divorce? Unfortunately Mrs. Moir, they would need to file themselves.” I played stupid.

“I’m here to talk about Scott. He’s completely heart-sick right now and I have an inkling it has a lot to do with you.” Alma said, softly. I felt so mad.

“Well I’m so sorry to hear that, excuse me for not giving my world to Scott fucking Moir on a silver platter. I’m so sorry that I won’t just give in to anything he wants like a submissive, starstruck idiot because he has a few gold plated medals. And let me remind you that if he didn’t choose to go to a fucking fourth Olympics than maybe Kaitlyn would be alive and they would be living happily ever after in a fucking cape cod, with a fucking white picket fence.” I let my anger get the best of me. As soon as I said the words I regretted them.

I expected Alma to want to hit me, or shout at me, or walk out. In fact, it would have been way easier if she chose one of those options. Instead she silently stood up and moved around the side of my desk, wrapping me in her embrace. Her hug was soft and warm how a mother’s should be and she smelled like fresh baking. I wanted to be angry, hurt, or betrayed but all the emotions and thoughts in my brain tumbled into the place low in my chest dedicated to sadness. I finally gave in and started sobbing into the woman’s shoulder. I didn’t think I would be able to stop now that I opened the dam completely. I felt like a child. 

****

“You can pretend to be cool and collected but I know you’re hurting, too.” She rubbed soothing circles into my back. “You two are not different at all.”

I wished that I could deny her but the tears were still falling and catching my breath posed to be too difficult, therefore Alma got to continue and I forced myself to listen.

“Scott feels totally betrayed by Kaitlyn and...Well, and after talking to Kate yesterday she explained what happened with your father. Tessa, I didn’t come here to figure you out. I came here to thank-you. You are strong, and brave, and beautiful and you have done one hell of a job with that little girl.” Alma whispered into my ear.

“You don’t even know me.” I sniffled.

“No, I don’t. But I was in a pretty similar situation with Scott Sunday morning and he wanted so badly to be mad at the world, but he ended up complimenting you instead.” Alma said.

“But I was so cruel to him.” I didn’t understand.

“Oh honey, nobody could be as cruel to Scott Moir as he is to himself.” Alma shook her head. I pulled away from her and looked at her curiously.

“Tessa, when Kaitlyn died Scott gave up. He started drinking too much and getting in trouble with the law. Carol took a gamble by forcing him back on the ice to coach. He could either swim or sink and miraculously, he chose to swim. He dried himself out and put all his focus into creating brilliant little skaters, but he was still not happy. He just got better at hiding it. The Scott I saw yesterday was different. He was dismal, but I have never seen him this determined since moving to France. He adores Eleanor, and above all else, he completely adores you too.” Alma put her hand on my cheek.

“Did he tell you everything?” I looked at her nervously.

“Everything.” She said confidently.

“Then why did he kiss me? Why would he do such a wicked thing?” I asked.

“Why do you think it’s wicked?” Alma answered my question, with a question.

“Because...it wasn’t right! It was crazy, and reckless, and...and…”

“And it made you feel something? And that’s a scary place for your jaded mind to go?” Alma raised her eyebrows in question.

“Absolutely not.” I snapped, “He said it was a mistake.”

“Hmm, that’s interesting that he’d say that.” Alma turned away from me. “Anyways, I better get going. I just wanted to say thank-you for being an amazing mom to Elly and that I hope you can give Scott another chance, you know, after his ‘mistake’.” Alma started walking towards my door. 

“Alma, wait!” I called out.

“Yes Tessa?” Alma turned towards me like she knew something I didn’t.

“How do I fix this?” I steadied myself on my desk.

“I know you’ll do just about anything for your daughter, and so will Scott. I’m sure you two will figure a way to work it out.” Alma smiled and then left my office.

****

Now what the fuck am I supposed to do. That conversation left me even more confused than I was before she came in to see me. I still very much did not want to have to face Scott after Saturday but I also knew that he was currently at the rink with Elly falling to pieces while Elly tries to understand how to differentiate coach Scott from father Scott. Especially after all she wanted to do yesterday was talk about her dad.

“Mia, can you please cancel the rest of my appointments today?” I peeked my head out of my office.

“of course Ms. Virtue.” Mia smiled and then picked up the phone.

I got into my car and drove on autopilot to the rink, not quite sure what I was going to say to Scott when I see him. The closer I got to Ilderton the more sickening the feeling, since when was I a coward? The city turned to country and I turned on to the familiar road that led me to the rink. 

****

“Good job on that edge, Elly.” Scott said from the middle of the rink. I don't think he heard me come in or if he did he wasn't ready to face me.

“Ugh, You're going too easy on me.” Elly crossed her arms.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked.

“I want to work on my spins. I have been skating in circles and you keep saying they're good but we just keep doing them.” Elly threw her hands up in defeat.

“I just don't want you to get hurt.” Scott scrunched up his face.

“I won't dad!” Elly exclaimed. Scott stopped, his face softened. Elly realized what she had said and bit her lip to hide her nervous smile. They both noticed me at the same time watching from the boards. It was kind of like all my confusion dissipated and things became clear as day. Elly wanted Scott in her life and Scott wanted Elly in his.

“Scott, let Elly show you her spins, she has been working really hard on them.” I said, Scott moved to skate towards me but he stopped himself before he got too close.

“Tessa-" Scott ran his hand through his hair. 

“Not now.” I said quickly. Scott nodded and then turned back to our daughter.

“Mommy! Dad! Look at me.” Elly said going into a well executed shoot the duck. 

“Good job, kiddo.” Scott skated towards her. “Let's try that again but this time bring your body in tighter.”

I watched Elly and Scott for the rest of her practice. It gave me an opportunity to watch them without actively being involved. I got to see how much she looked up to him and trusted him and I got to see how much he cared about her. I could almost imagine myself being removed completely and nothing much changing. Just a father and his daughter. Elly’s time was up and she skated towards the changerooms to take off her skates. Scott came in my direction and stopped in front of me.

“She loves it.” I said, trying to ignore the real reason he came over.

“She's incredible, Tess.” Now that Scott was right in front of me I could see that he didn't look well at all. His skin looked swallow and his eyes red and puffy. 

“Look Scott, I don’t want you to be mad at me.” I said staring at a spot on the floor.

“Why would I ever be mad at you Tessa? If anything you should be mad at me. I know I messed up and I'm so sorry. I wish I could redo that entire day.” Scott said.

“Then why don't you?” I said without thinking, why am I giving him another chance? Why the heck am I being so easy on him?

“You'll let me try again?” He looked at me eagerly.

“Yes, just no media, no drag makeup, and no-" Scott cut me off.

“And no kissing you. Got it!” He looked over his shoulder blushing.

“Yeah...Scott I gotta ask. Why did you do it?” I peered into his eyes to try and see if he was being truthful.

“I guess I just really appreciate all that you've done for Elly and I think you're an incredible mother and I thank my lucky stars that you found her.” He looked straight into my soul when he said this and I felt my breathing hitch. 

“Oh. That's so nice.” I said nervously.

“I have a lot to be grateful for but I think you're at the top of my list.” He smiled. I felt my cheeks burn.

“Mom look, Scotty fixed my dress.” Elly came skipping out of the locker room wearing her school clothes and carrying her skating bag in one hand, her dress in the other. I could see that Scott looked a bit disappointed that she went back to his nickname after her slip earlier. 

“Wow, he did a good job.” I examined the pink material.

“Did you say thank-you?”

“Thank-you.” Elly dropped her bag at my feet and hugged Scott around his waist.

“You're welcome, Kiddo.” Scott smiled.

“Shall we go home, Elly?” I said picking up the skating bag.

“No.” Elly said simply.

“No?” I looked at her.

“I want to watch Scotty’s hockey game.” Elly said looking up at her dad with heart eyes.

“Oh. Uhm, I just mentioned it earlier because I have all my gear here.” Scott shrugged sheepishly.

“What time is it?” I asked him.

“Oh Tess, you don’t have to.” Scott looked down at Elly.

“What time, Scott?” I repeated.

“It's at 7.” He said.

“Okay, how about you and I get some dinner and you can start on your practise words and then we can come back later to watch Scott.” I said to Elly, whose jaw dropped to the floor.

“Seriously?” Elly gasped.

“If it's okay with your dad that we’re there?” I looked up at Scott, “Also, I thought that you didn't play hockey.” 

“It's okay with me. And I don't like to advertise the fact because I'm not very good. We only play the one day a week.” He shrugged nervously.

“Well if that's the case we will be sure to come with paper bags over our heads with little eyes cut out.” I joked. Elly looked up at me not quite understanding.

“We'll see you later.” I said starting to walk out of the rink, Elly trailing behind me.

“I look forward to it.” Scott said quietly but it did not miss my ears. The truth is, I looked forward to it too. I couldn’t explain why and my brain was so full of this crazy, messy, situation that I didn’t want to ask myself the hard questions. 

****

When we arrived back at the rink that evening it was quite a different atmosphere. Scott definitely downplayed what I thought was going to be a low commitment, recreational scrimmage. There were two teams skating around the ice wearing gear and jerseys. The red teams jerseys said that they were the ‘North London Lightning’ and the green team jerseys said that they were the ‘Ilderton Inferno’. The stands were filled with people. I pulled a very distracted little girl behind me as I found a couple of seats behind the green team. 

“Mommy, I can't see Scotty.” Elly stood on the chair wearing her purple dinosaur onesie pajamas. Had I known there would be so many people here I would have put real clothes on her.

“It's kind of hard to tell him apart when they're all wearing helmets.” I looked at the players. “He's one of the green guys.”

“Hi.” Elly and I both turned to look at a little boy with dark curly hair and dimples.

“Hello.” I said kindly.

“Hi! My dad plays on the green. He's the best.” Elly said, sizing up the boy.

“My dad does too.” The boy sat in the seat next to Elly.

“Teddy, you can't run off on me like that.” a heavily pregnant woman wobbled down the bleachers. Her blonde hair falling down her back in neat ringlets.

“Sorry mom.” The boy gave his mom a crooked smile. The woman collapsed in the seat next to him out of breath.

“Hello.” the woman smiled over to me.

“Hi, how are you?” I said politely back.

“Oh you know, just about ready to get this child out of me. She just doesn't want to come out.” The lady rubbed her belly.

“Mom! Look it's Scotty!” Elly pointed at Scott who was leaning against the boards with two other men.

“That's my dad!” Teddy pointed in the direction of the men. “number 23.” 

“My dad is number 14.” Elly said in a know-it-all voice...As if this isn't her first hockey game and only the 4th day of knowledge that she has a dad.

“Oh my, you must be Tessa.” The pregnant woman turned to me, “My name is Kaitlyn, I'm Andrew’s wife. Andrew is Scott's best friend. We were both very shocked when he told us what happened…” 

“Oh, yeah...it's been quite the week.” I chuckled awkwardly.

“And you must be Eleanor.” Kaitlyn winked at Elly.

“That's me!” Elly jumped up out of her seat again, “Did you know that my daddy’s hair can fit in my scrunchy?” Elly giggled.

“What! That's silly! Maybe he should get a haircut.” Kaitlyn winked at me.

“No! I like his hair, its soft like a lamb.” Elly said, waving at Scott who waved back.

“He thinks very highly of you.” Kaitlyn said to me, “He couldn't stop talking about his sweet little daughter and her beautiful mother.”

“Oh..He said that?” I looked at Kaitlyn.

“He did. He was so worried that you wouldn't like him.” Kaitlyn said.

“I like him.” Elly sat back down. “Mommy kissed him like 200 times on Saturday but she's still not too sure if she likes him, how does that make sense?”

“Okay, none of that is true.” I blushed. Kaitlyn chuckled. 

“She's so funny! I can see a lot of Scott in her. She's got that little cowlick and his eyes.”

“She's definitely got his nose too.” I leaned over and kissed Ellys nose.

“Did you get his skating skills?” Teddy asked.

“I hope so, do you skate?” Elly asked him.

“Yeah, I take lessons from Mr. Moir.” Teddy said.

“Me too!” Elly wrapped her arms around the boy as though having things in common was something worth hugging for. I wish it was that easy.

“We should be skating partners.” Teddy smiled at Elly. 

“That would be so much fun.” Elly squealed. 

“We can be like my mommy and daddy. They were ice dancers.” Teddy said. I looked at Kaitlyn.

“That's how we know Scott.” Kaitlyn supplied.

“I didn't realize.” I looked at her in awe.

“It's been 20 years that we have known Scott Moir.” Kaitlyn smiled towards the rink.

“Mommy, can Teddy and I go see Scotty?” Elly asked. It was half time and Scott was leaning against the boards with Andrew.

“Sure. I'm going to stay here with Kaitlyn.” I smiled to Elly who was now dragging Teddy by the hand as she marched down the stands to her dad. I watched her climb up onto the boards to give Scott a hug in her funny purple dino suit. Andrew said something to Teddy that made him laugh and Scott looked so damn proud to be showing off his daughter to the other players.

“So this must be super weird for you.” Kaitlyn said, watching me.

“You have no idea.” I chuckled. “I don't even know him.”

“What would you like to know?” Kaitlyn asked.

“How about everything?” I chuckled.

“I've known the guy for 20 years Tessa, do you have a few hours to spare?” Kaitlyn teased.

“Can I ask you about Alma Moir?” I asked.

“Scott’s mother? That’s an odd place to start.” Kaitlyn laughed.

“I know, It’s just that she came into my office today wanting to talk about Scott but she left me more confused than enlightened.” I looked at Kaitlyn, whose face looked amused.

“Oh Alma, here is a pro tip Tessa...Alma Moir comes off as being this sweet, confusing old lady but she is quick as a whip and can read people like a book. I’m willing to bet you money that she came to you office with the intention of figuring you out.” Kaitlyn said.

“But she literally said, and I quote, ‘I’m not here to try and figure you out, I’m here to thank-you’.” I chuckled.

“That’s exactly what she was trying to do. Did she ask you anything else?” Kaitlyn asked.

“I kind of cried onto her a bit and she told me that Scott and I both hurting and then she told me that he abused drugs after Kaitlyn died.” I made an awkward face.

“Okay so she likes you, if she told you about Scott’s drinking problem it means that she expects that you’ll stick around.” Kaitlyn said.

“How do you know all of this?” I looked at her incredulously.

“Scott taught me how to decode her years ago.” Kaitlyn giggled, “What else did you guys talk about?” I looked to where Elly and Scott were still talking at the boards.

“We talked about how Scott...kissed me, and how it was a mistake. Or I thought it was, she kind of just said it was ‘interesting’ and then left in a hurry.” I felt so comfortable sharing with Kaitlyn.

“BINGO!” Kaitlyn gasped, “I just figured out the real reason why Alma showed up at your office.”

“Why?” I scrunched up my brow, “To tell me how miserable I’m making Scott?”

“Quite the opposite Tessa. Alma came to figure you out, because you’re making Scott happy in a really fucked up situation. She’s going to set you two up.” Kaitlyn smirked.

“I don’t understand this at all.” I shook my head.

“Alma is fiercely protective over her boys. Scott tells her everything and at some point he probably let it slip that he was into you. I think Alma came to see if he even stood a chance. She collected what information she needed and she left.” Kaitlyn chuckled.

“This is all so weird.” I shook my head, “Why would she even want that? We are only civil to each other because of Elly.”

“Alma Moir has her reasons, and she’s never wrong about this stuff.” Kaitlyn winked. I stopped talking when I saw Elly and Teddy returning to their seats.

****

The game continued and I started to think about the days events. I internalized every conversation, look and gesture that Scott displayed towards me. How he said the sweetest thing and how it fogged my mind, creating this internal battle between my mind and my heart. Even while he’s playing hockey I can’t help but notice him looking up at the stands a little too often. How he was trying really hard and skating faster than any other man on the ice. Scott Moir was showing off. Elly was trying really hard to stay awake so she could cheer on her dad but she was out cold by the time the game ended. I walked down to the main entrance with Kaitlyn chatting about cookware when the freshly showered men came out of the changerooms. Andrew picked up his sleepy son and kissed Kaitlyn lightly on the lips. Scott came up behind him clamping him hard on the back before stopping in front of me. He ran his thumb gently over Elly’s cheek before kissing her on the forehead. He then looked up at me and our eyes met. His face softened but his eyes remained determined.

“Tess, this is my best friend Andrew.” Scott shifted awkwardly, “And I see you have met his wonderful wife, Kaitlyn.”

“Hi Andrew.” I said trying to stick my free hand out from under Ella to shake his hand.

“Scott was right, you are gorgeous.” Andrew shook my hand. Kaitlyn smiled at me with a knowing look. I looked at Scott and he was blushing.

“Oh, thank-you.” I felt my cheeks burning. “I should get Elly home, you looked good out there Moir.” I smiled.

“Let me walk you out.” Scott offered. I nodded and smiled in acceptance. I said good-bye to Kaitlyn, Andrew and Teddy and watched Scott as he did some long, elaborate handshake with his best friend. We walked in silence to my car and he opened the door for me while I gently placed Elly in her seat. After neatly buckling her in without waking her up I closed the door and just stared at Scott who was watching me under the parking lot floodlights. It was one of those ‘now what’ moments where I’m too scared to move because I don’t want to mess anything up. Scott continued to try to read me, his jaw working. I stepped forward and so did he. I gently moved my arms around him to hug him goodbye. He moved his arms around my waist and after the initial awkwardness we relaxed into each other synchronizing our breathing. He smelt so damn good and his body felt warm after the cool, dryness of the rink. I pulled away from the hug and our eyes met again. Scott’s forehead pressed against mine but he didn’t dare kiss me. He was letting me call the shots. I drew away completely and he dropped his arms to his side.

“It’s inevitable.” I whispered softly.

“What is?” He cocked his head to the side.

"Oh nothing, goodnight Scott." I moved to the drivers side of my car.

"Tessa, I don't know where we stand." He said softly.

"Ask your mother." I said getting into my car and starting the engine. I'm willing to bet he had no idea Alma paid me a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of an info-filler chapter.  
> Next up: more of Alma Moir's antics.


	5. Elly knows best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The test is a formality, they already know they need each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said this one was more of Alma Moir... I lied, that will be next chapter. I split them again. This one is short but sweet. Enjoy!!!

5)

 

          The weeks went by and nothing much changed. Elly saw Scott three times a week for practise and then I would pick her up, say hello and then hear all about him on the drive home. Scott and I were civil and but we weren't anything more. Elly asked me sometimes why I didn't like Scott and I never really knew how to explain it to her in a way that she’d understand. The thing is...I don't understand it either. Every time I see him my heart flutters in my chest and I get this dizzying lightness in my head. Then my brain kicks in and I start chastising myself for having feelings that I can't control. Then when he talks to me it's like this internal battle where my body is drawing me near him but my mind shames me for being so naive and stupid. I end up red in the face staring at the floor while he tells me about Elly’s improvements. If he notices how reserved I have been acting, he doesn't say anything. Unfortunately I can't get anything past poor Elly who assumes I dislike her dad when it is actually the opposite. The day after Scott’s hockey game and my peculiar visit from Alma, Scott asked if he could come over and collects Elly’s DNA for the paternity test. While Elly was at School he and I plucked little blonde hairs from Elly’s pillow case and comb. Once Scott felt satisfied with what we collected he awkwardly lingered by my front door rubbing the back of his neck.

“Is there something else?” I asked, he shifted his weight back and forth.

“I just...I guess I’m just a little bit curious about what my mom said to you yesterday.” Scott asked. “She wouldn’t tell me.”

“None of your business.” I flatley.

“She’s just so invasive.” He shrugged.

“She was fine.” I reassured him.

“You promise? Because I could hire a hitman.” Scott joked.

“Scott, if that is all you need to talk about you should go. I have court at noon.” I said.

“Okay one last thing.” Scott looked nervous again.

“What is it?” I put my hands on my hips.

“You never answered my question before leaving yesterday.” He looked at the ground, “Where do we stand?”

“I don’t know Scott, I don’t really know what you want me to say.” I shrugged.

“I guess I’m just confused because I can’t seem to get a clear read on you. Friday you told me that I’d never take Elly from you, Saturday we had a fun day at the park with our daughter, played dress up and then snuggled on the couch before I made a mistake and you threw me out, Sunday you ignored my calls, Monday you forgave me and even came to my hockey game where you met my friends and then hugged me goodbye...Now today you’re back to being kind of cold. I guess I just wish I knew how to solve the puzzle that is Tessa Virtue.” He said.

“I think maybe we just need some time to let the dust settle. Once the paternity test comes back, call me and we can go from there.” I had said.

 

Well now it was a few weeks later and the air was beginning to get crisp and the leaves were changing colours. Elly has started to make a bunch of Thanksgiving crafts at school and has become really interested in wearing the colour orange. I was trying to pick leaves off of my windshield in an impossibly tight jeans shirt when Elly came outside in her pajamas.

 

“Mom? What are you doing?” Elly cocked her head to the side.

“I’m trying to get these silly leaves out from under my windshield wiper.” I groaned, leaning over the car’s damp hood.

“Scotty’s on the phone.” Elly said.

“Eleanor, what have I told you about picking up mommy’s phone?” I gave up with the leaves and met her on the porch.

“I know, I’m sorry. I recognized his number.” Elly held out my phone.

“What if it was work?” I put my hands on my hips taking the phone from her.

“But it wasn’t.” She crossed her arms.

“Hello?” I said into the phone, Elly spun around and marched back inside.

“Hi Tessa, it’s Scott.” Scott said into the phone.

“I figured that much, what’s up?” I asked.

“Tessa, the test is in. I’m going to my councillor today to review it.” He said, “I’d like you to be there.”

“Your...councillor?” I asked.

“Yes, I’ve started seeing a councillor...A few weeks ago actually.” He sounded nervous.

“That’s really great Scott. What time are you going? Would you like Elly to be there?” I asked.

“Yeah, actually she’s asked if maybe you and Elly would attend one of our sessions. So we can all talk together. I’m seeing her at 2.” I could practically hear his jaw working.

“Okay.” I said.

“Okay?”

“Yes Scott, we’ll be there. Text me the address and we’ll see you at 2.”

 

Elly and I arrived at the councillor’s office in Ilderton and Scott had already been there. It was a rainy Saturday afternoon and the three of us were sitting snug on the couch in front of a soft looking woman with compassionate eyes. Elly was sitting between us swinging her legs back and forth.

“Hello, It’s nice to meet you Tessa and Elly. My name is Sue.” The lady looked between myself and Elly.

“Hello Sue, is that short for Susan? Mommy used to have a lady at her office named Susan and she also liked to be called Sue. Mommy fired Sue and now she has a Mia.” Elly said.

“You’re right Elly, my name is Susan.” The lady smiled warmly.

“So Tessa, Scott has been telling me about your tricky situation you three have been dealing with. How are you doing?” Sue asked me.

“I’m doing fine.” I said, looking straight ahead.

“And Scott, how are you today?” Sue asked.

“I’m really nervous.” He said.

“So the reason you’re all here today is to see the results to Scott’s paternity test. Before we see what’s in this envelope, I’d like to talk a little bit.” Sue prompted. “Tessa what do you think the test will say?”

“I feel very confident that Scott is Elly’s father, I mean look at them.” I chuckled. “It’s more of what it means once it’s official that scares me.”

“And why are you scared?” Sue asked.

“Because I don’t want him to take Elly away from me.” I said.

“Tessa, from what Scott tells me you’re a family lawyer, you would know better than anyone what rights Scott has. Would that even be a possibility?”

“He can apply for custody. Not full custody but he can attempt half.” I said.

“And Scott what do you have to say about all of this?” Sue looked at him.

“I wouldn't do it.” Scott turned to me. “I have been trying so hard to find ways to get Tess to trust me, if we are going to do this, I want to do it right. I don’t want to fight her, I just want to be part of my daughter’s life.” He said.

“And Tessa?”

“I don’t want to be like a divorced couple.” I looked to my lap.

“Why don’t we find out what Elly wants?” Sue asked. “So Elly sweetie, if Scott is in fact your father, what would you like to see happen?”

“I want to be a family.” Elly said. “A together family.”

“And what does that look like?” Sue asked Elly. Elly suddenly looked really nervous.

“It looks like...A mommy and a daddy who care about each other just as much as they care about me. I want them to laugh together and both be at my birthday party. I want my daddy to be in pictures on our wall and I want him to help us decorate our Christmas tree. I just want mommy to like Scott. I don’t know why she doesn’t like him, he thinks she’s….What did you say Scotty? The bee’s elbow?”

“The bee’s knees, kiddo. I think Tessa is the bee’s knees.” Scott patted Elly’s back softly.

“Wow, that was incredibly insightful for such a young girl. Have you been thinking about this a lot Elly?” Sue asked, I felt myself completely frozen. I didn’t know.

“Yes. I talk about it a lot with Scotty at skating. I don’t talk about it much with mommy because she always gets upset.” Elly looked up at me.

“Tessa, would you like to say something?” I felt my chest bubble with sadness.

“I didn’t ever mean to make you feel like you couldn’t talk to me.” I fought the tears.

“It’s okay mommy. Scotty said that you weren’t sad at me. He said you were just sad because your daddy was a meanie to you and you were scared that Scotty was going to be a meanie-bo-beanie to me.” Elly said innocently. I chuckled letting a few tears spill over.

“Your daddy is right Elly. Mommy is just scared that you’ll be disappointed.” I looked up at Scott and he looked hurt.

“What does dis-app-noted mean?”

“Disappointed is when someone makes you sad by not doing something they promised you they’d do. What I meant was that I’m scared that you’ll really love Scott and one day he won’t be there.” I explained. “A meanie-bo-beanie.”

“I would like to say something. From my understanding you and Scott don’t have a history at all, so he has never done anything to make you feel this way. Tessa, these are fears that someone else has earned and it’s not fair for you to project them onto Elly when her heart is so full of love that she wants to share with everyone. As for Scott, he has nothing but care for both you and Elly. He adores you and he has no reservations about hiding the fact. You two can make such a beautiful thing out of a situation that is less than ideal. All it takes is communication and commitment.” Sue said, I felt the tears streaming down my cheek. Elly reached her hand up and wiped a tear away.

“So Elly, what happens if Scott isn’t your biological father?” Sue asked.

“Well mommy isn’t my actual mother, but we make it work…” Elly looked at her feet.

“And Scott?”

“I have already committed myself to loving this family. And Tessa, I can only hope that one day you’ll believe me when I say I’m devoted to both of you.” Scott placed his hand lightly on my shoulder. It made me cry harder.

“So by the sound of it Elly has decided what she wants, regardless if Scott’s her biological father. Should we open the document?” Sue asked.

“Yes.” I said snapping my head up.

 

We all watched as Susan silently opened the letter and scanned the details. She handed the document to Scott who shook his head in confusion. Sue gave me a knowing look and Scott handed me the document to take a look.

“Oh.” I said, my face softening.

“What does it mean?” Scott looked to me.

“She’s yours.” I looked down at Elly and for the first time since this mess all started, Elly started balling her eyes out. Scott and I both leaned into her at the same time squashing her in a hug between us.

“Oh daddy.” Elly cried grabbing Scott’s hand. He looked to me and his eyes were full of tears.

“I knew it.” He kissed her head. “My daughter.”

“I’m so very happy for you all.” Sue said.

“I’m happy too.” Elly climbed onto Scott’s lap.

“Tessa, I would like to ask you to come back alone so we could start to work on you, is that something you might want to do?” Sue asked.

“I think that would be great.” I shook Sue’s hand.

 

We walked as a family out into the pouring rain and Scott held Elly tight in his arms. I was so shocked at how openly expressive Scott was about everything. It was so new and refreshing to be near a man who can recognize a problem and find a way to talk it through. The things he said about me were so endearing and it was making my internal battle even more daunting.

“So, what now?” I asked, swallowing a lump in my throat.

“I don’t know if this is too soon Tess, but we never did try again after you told me you’d give me a second chance...It’s just that my family is having a Thanksgiving dinner tonight and I would really love it if you and Elly came.” He said.

“Oh...I...I would hate to impose.” I shrugged.

“It’s no imposition, you’re family.” Scott said.

 

Bless my heart, I'm in too deep. My heart wants what it wants.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Therapy is always a good idea. So I don't write Susan very well...Probably because I would make the worlds worst therapist. I'm sure she's not the most ethical in her field...Maybe that's why she works in the small town of Ilderton? Anyways, now they know and they're finally talking about it. I always appreciate comments and feedback, it helps me include necessary pieces that I sometimes overlook. 
> 
> Next Up: More Alma (For real this time)


	6. Hooked on a Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving with the Moir's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thanks for the comments! I love reading them and I care a lot about what you all think of this fic. I'm trying to keep things light considering the situation. This chapter is light, and fun, and fluffy...Ooga Chaka, Ooga Ooga, Ooga chaka. Enjoy :)

6)

****

I held my breath as I stood outside of Scott’s childhood home in Ilderton holding a store bought pie that I transferred into a baking dish. Elly stood behind my leg in a yellow dress looking up at Alma’s big, beautiful home.

“Mommy, is this going to be weird?” Elly asked in a small voice.

“I don’t know honey.” I said, finally knocking on the door. Breathe Tessa!

****

Ella hid herself even further behind my leg when we heard how loud everyone was inside. The door swung open and standing in front of us was Alma and her sister Carol.

“Carol!” Elly pushed past me and jumped into the woman’s arms.

“Hey sugar, how’s the skating coming?” The lady asked.

“Amazing!” Elly smiled.

“Hi Tessa, thanks so much for coming.” Alma smiled, I handed her the dish.

“Thank-you for letting us crash your party.” I kissed her lightly on the cheek.

“I’m just glad to hear you and Scott are sorting things out.” She turned to lead us into her home.

I suddenly felt completely out of place when Alma brought me into her family room. The house was filled with people. Elly gasped and tucked herself back behind my leg when she saw the crowd. Everyone stopped talking and turned to look at us as we came into view. Alma started firing off names and it was hard to keep track. Besides Joe, Carol and Alma whom I have already met there was Scott’s brother Danny with his wife, also named Tessa. They had three kids. Matthew, Josh, and Charlotte. Then there was Scott’s other brother Charlie and his wife Allison, they had twins Sam and Simon. There was Scott’s uncle Paul and his cousins Cara Moir and Sheri Moir who were both with their partners (Al and Ken?), Sheri had her daughter Maddie and son Brayden. There was some woman who was a family friend named Tracy and to top it off Scott invited Kaitlyn, Andrew, and Teddy. In total Alma was cooking for 26 people. I wasn’t sure what to say so I just shrugged awkwardly and waved. Where was Scott?

****

“Okay everyone, please don’t be weird when Tessa gets here. I really want her to like us. No! I need her to like us-” Scott walked down the stairs and blushed when he realized that everyone was quiet because Elly and I have arrived, “Tess!”

“Hi Scott.” I bit my lip nervously.

“I’m so glad you’re here. Did you meet everyone?” He looked around the room.

“I did.” I smiled.

“Elly, why are you hiding princess?” Scott kneeled down next to me to talk to Elly at face height.

I swallowed hard when Scott’s arm brushed my exposed leg. He looked good. Like good enough to eat. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing a dress shirt tucked into dress pants. I got a whiff of his cologne and i think it is quite possibly my new favourite flavour...whatever it is it smells wonderful. There is something about seeing Scott dressed up and fussing over our daughter that made me weak in the knees. Why am I like this? I looked up and caught Alma’s eye. I quickly looked away worried that she could read me. Oh god if she could read my mind I would be horrified.

“There are so many people here.” Elly wrapped her arms around her dad’s neck.

“I know, we have a big family.” He kissed her forehead, “Teddy is here, did you see that?” Scott pointed out. I am starting to wonder if Scott invited Kaitlyn and Andrew for the soul purpose of making us feel comfortable, and for the purpose that Teddy is the only other kid Elly’s age. All of Alma’s other grandkids are teenagers.

“Yeah I saw.” Elly smiled. Scott stood back up and was now right in front of me, I was hoping I wasn’t blushing too hard.

“Green looks good on you.” Scott said softly so only I could hear.

“Thanks.” I looked down at my green dress, “You don’t look half bad yourself.”

“I wasn’t sure about the grey pinstripes.” Scott pulled at his shirt.

“I like it.” I smirked.

“Tessa! Can I get you a drink? Wine? Beer? Whiskey?” Danny asked.

“Red wine if you have it.” I smiled.

“If we have it? Oh Virtue, you have a lot to learn.” Danny wandered off towards the kitchen.

“Elly, do you want to see my gold medal?” Scott asked Elly.

“Show off!” Charlie teased.

“Only one?” Elly looked up at Scott with big eyes. The room erupted with laughter.

“Yeah Scott! Only one? What’s wrong with you?” Sheri mocked playfully.

“I like your kid, uncle Scott. She can stay.” Charlotte smirked.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Scott turned his back to hide his grin.

“Can I see them too?” Teddy jumped up.

“You mean it?” Kaitlyn smirked, even more pregnant than before.

“The other one’s are at my place.” Scott shot back.

“Yeah but Scott, tell us why the Vancouver one is here.” Paul jumped in.

“Because I gave it to my ma as a token of appreciation. It’s not that big of a deal.” Scott looked at me and I smiled warmly. That was so sweet.

    "Mama's boy." Sheri smirked.

 

****

Scott led a herd of kids upstairs and I moved next to Kaitlyn. Danny came back with my wine and Kaitlyn stuck out her lip in a pout when he handed it to me.

“I miss wine.” Kaitlyn said.

“She’ll come soon enough, and once she does I’ll be happy to split a bottle with you...or two.” I said.

“Scott told us about the test, how are you?” Kaitlyn looked concerned.

“I’m actually not bad at all. I still have a few things I need to figure out but I think we really have a shot at making this work.” 

“You’re the bravest woman I know.” Kaitlyn clinked her water glass against my wine in cheers.

“Oh, I’m not sure about that. I owe Scott a lot of credit, he’s being remarkably patient with me.” I looked down at my shoes.

“I really wish you could see what I see.” kaitlyn said softly. I snapped my head up to look at her.

“See what?” I asked.

“The way he looks at you, it’s almost pathetic at how telling it is.” Kaitlyn said. I drew back.

“It’s not-”

“I know, I know. It’s not like that. It’s a damn shame though. That man is a unicorn, like find me a more loyal, kind, and caring man, I’ll wait.” Kaitlyn said. I chuckled at this comment. I was saved from having to respond when Alma announced dinner was ready.

****

Alma finally managed to get everyone seated at her rented party table and Joe walked around filling everyone’s flutes with bubbly. I had to admit, Alma really went all out. The place setting were beautiful and each plate had a homemade maple syrup candy and a cracker. Everyone started cracking their crackers and pulling these silly paper crowns out from inside and placing them on their heads. I helped Elly with her cracker and she gasped when it popped loudly. Her crown was green and she traded it with Scott who got pink. This did not go unnoticed by Alma who made a comment about how “Green always did catch her son’s eyes” while looking at me...Who was wearing a green dress that matched my green eyes. I was sitting across the table from Scott, much like I had been on the day I met him. He was talking to Elly who was sitting beside him showing him her trinket that came from the cracker. I felt my stomach bubbling with joy at the days events.

“Hello everyone,” Joe stood up from his place at the head of the table, “I would like to thank you all for joining Alma and I at our annual Thanksgiving feast. We have so much in life to be thankful for. First off, I'm thankful for the Toronto Blue jays and their great season. I'm Thankful that hockey is starting back up, and above all else, I'm thankful for the family with whom I get to watch it with. As of recently our already large Moir family got just a little bit bigger when our son Scott met his daughter Elly and her mom Tessa. You two beautiful girls have made my son so unbelievably happy and it has acted as a reminder that the best thing in life to hold onto, is each other. Happy Thanksgiving!” Joe toasted. Everyone raised their glasses.

“Happy Thanksgiving Tess.” Scott clinked his glass against mine.

“Happy Thanksgiving.” I repeated, my face red.

Everyone drank and ate the delicious food until we were all leaning back in our chairs with over consumption. When dessert rolled around I was thankful that nobody asked me how I ‘made’ that pie. I talked to Sheri a lot about skating and Charlie about Western University, where he taught Economics. Scott’s family were all so kind and welcoming of me and Ella. I had a feeling that everyone knew of the situation before hand because nobody asked about it. Scott and Danny started clearing away plates and Alma went to her big, vintage record player and put on a record.

“Alright everyone, waltz time!” Alma clapped her hands together.

“Waltz?” I looked over at Charlie.

“It was a shock for me too at my first Moir dinner.” Allison, Charlie's wife said.

“It's a family tradition.” Charlie took his wife's hand.

“Tess, you don't have to dance if you don't want to.” Scott said coming up beside me.

“No, I want to.” I said looking at him. The sides of his mouth twitched upwards.

“Good! Because you'll be my first partner!” Paul Moir took my hand and pulled me towards him. I erupted with laughter as he swung me around Alma’s open living room.

Scott picked up Elly and swung her around in an over-exaggerated waltz. Elly squealed with excitement and suddenly everyone was finding partners and swaying along to an old Ella Fitzgerald song. Carol cut in and Paul kissed his wife softly taking her into his arms. I backed away standing against the wall watching everyone enjoy themselves. The music changed and suddenly all the Moir men started chanting. “Ooga chacka Ooga Ooga Ooga chaka”. Scott turned to me and then reached his hand out for me to take.

“Dance with me.” He smiled like a kid.

“Id love to.” I grabbed his hand and he pulled me in close. He wrapped his arm around my waist and started singing the lyrics to ‘Hooked on a feeling’ into my hair.

“I can't stop this feeling   
Deep inside of me   
Girl, you just don't realize   
What you do to me.” He sang off tune. I knew the song off by heart.

“When you hold me   
In your arms so tight   
You let me know   
Everything's all right.” I sang back to him. He leaned back to look at me.

“You're incredible, you know that?” Scott smiled.

“It's nice to be reminded.” I grinned. Scott tightened his grip around my waist.

“Lips are sweet as candy   
It's taste stays on my mind   
Girl, you got me thirsty   
For another cup of wine.” He sang, his lips feather light against my ear. I felt a heat growing low in my tummy as all my senses were over stimulated.

“So about that second chance.” I said, trying to keep my breathing steady.

“Oh no, please don’t tell me you've reconsidered.” He groaned, the sound only making it harder to breath, his entire body pressed against mine.

“No, I haven't reconsidered. I was thinking...you're totally allowed to say no...But if you're interested…” I mumbled.

“Tess. I'm interested.” Scott looked into my eyes and for a minute I forgot what we were talking about.

“Okay, well Elly’s birthday is coming up soon and i know she would love it if you were involved in her party.” I shrugged nervously.

“And you're okay with that?” He asked.

“Yes, I'm okay with it.” I said. I felt Scott’s cheek press against mine. I turned my head a little so my nose was touching his chin.

“I'm hooked on a feeling   
I'm high on believing   
That you're in love with me.” He whispered the ending of the song.

“Ugh! Mommy and daddy are kissing again.” Elly said, the room stood still. Scott pulled away a little.

“Elly, whoever taught you what a kiss was certainly wasn't doing it right.” Scott joked.

“Hey!” I swatted his shoulder. “I taught her that.”

“Oooh Scott's in the doghouse now!” Danny teased.

“I'll have you know I am a very good kisser.” I took a step away from Scott.

“Prove it.” Everyone turned to look at Alma who had her hands on her hips.

“What?” Scott gasped.

“You heard me son, I want her to prove it.” Alma had the biggest shit-grin on her face.

“Prove it, Prove it, Prove it.” Scott's brothers started chanting, the kids following suit.

“Guys stop, you're making Tessa uncomfortable.” Scott said, I poured myself a third glass of wine and tipped it back.

“No, I'm not backing down on a challenge.” I wiped my mouth, “Pucker up Moir.”

“Tess, you don't have to do this.” Scott whispered, placing his hands back on my hips.

“Don't you want me to?” I raised an eyebrow. Scott's brothers made an “oooooh” sound.

“Of course I do.” Scott said, “I just don’t want you to feel unsafe.”

“Daddy, stop being a dodo head and kiss her already.” Elly teased, everyone erupted with laughter.

I grabbed the collar of Scott's shirt and he placed a hand behind my neck. I leaned forward and placed my lips on his. He inhaled a breath and deepened the kiss. Everyone started cheering. I was very aware that everyone was watching so I pulled away first, blushing and grinning like an idiot. Scott ran his hands through his hair and cleared his throat.

“Yup, I can confirm that she’s a good kisser.” Scott said weakly.

I smiled at Elly who was dancing excitedly and then walked past her winking at Kaitlyn whose mouth hung open in shock. I stopped in front of Alma whose expression matched Kaitlyn’s.

“I proved it.” I said in a cheeky tone and Joe started laughing beside her.

“I like her, she's a little spitfire.” Joe said to his wife who still couldn't speak from shock.

“To Tessa!” Cara held up her drink.

“To Tessa!” everyone cheered and drank.

****

By the end of the night most of the adults were very drunk. Kaitlyn and Andrew left first, Andrew carrying a sleepy Teddy. Carol and Paul left with Sheri and her family. I fished through my purse for my cell phone. I finally found it and started punching in the numbers for a cab.

“Hey Tess, don’t waste money on a cab. You and Elly should just stay the night.” Alma said, Scott drunkenly flopped on the couch beside me.

“Are you sure, Alma? You have been so hospitable, I wouldn’t want to overstay our welcome.” I said, Scott wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

“Don’t be ridiculous Tessa. You can take Scott’s old room, he can sleep on the couch” Alma said.

“Thank-you.” I said to Alma. Elly was curled up against me like a cat, fast asleep.

“She is so darling.” Alma hummed and walked away to say goodbye to everyone else. The eldest grandkids were given the job of being the DD for their parents. 

“Scotty..” I chuckled.

“Mmhmm.” He ran his fingers through my hair.

“I don’t think I’m sober enough to walk upstairs.” I leaned into him.

“Then don’t.” He kissed my temple.

“I feel nice.” I snuggled into him.

****

Alma closed the door and Joe made his way to bed. Alma smirked at us, clearly making fun of how intoxicated we both were. She went into a cupboard and tossed a blanket at Scott before scooping Elly up into her arms.

“I’m going to put Elly into Scott’s bed, she didn’t do anything to deserve waking up with a crook in her neck.” Alma flicked off the light and wandered upstairs with Elly still fast asleep in her grandma’s arms. Scott wiggled underneath me and I shifted to the side so he could stretch out on the couch. Once he was settled I layed back down beside him. He looked down at me and I drunkenly raised my chin to kiss him. He kissed me harder, slipping his tongue inside of my mouth. I brought my arms up to wrap around his waist and his hands grabbed on to the back of my thighs. I pressed myself against him and Scott moaned into my mouth. Scott pulled away and wrapped his arms around me. I melted into his chest.

“Good-night Scott.” I closed my eyes and nestled into the crook of his neck.

“Good-night T.” Scott said. His breathing slowed and I was almost positive he was asleep.

I was almost asleep when I heard Scott whisper into my hair.

“I needed you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that happened. Drunk Tessa is a lot less fearful than sober Tessa. I also think she's starting to realize how great Scott really is and how being part of his family makes both her and Elly really happy.


	7. Daddy Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. Tessa learns the truth about her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday evening I had a dance class where I couldn't get this simple combination leaving me almost in tears. We were in hour #2 and my teacher was starting to get really frustrated with me, only making me even more frustrated with myself. Anyways, I was on the train home and I read some of your comments and it really brightened my day, so thank-you! A lot happens in this chapter, almost too much, I just hope you like it :)

7)

****

The first thing I remember when I woke up was how badly my head hurt, the second thing I remember was how bright the sun was shining through my window. The third thing I remember was getting up to close my blinds but being unable to. 1) Because I had a limp body covering me, and 2) Because that was not my window. The events from the night before came flooding back to me all at once making my head spin even more. Why the fuck am I so stupid? Where was my internal alarm? On fucking vacation? I tried to figure out how I was supposed to get myself out of this situation coming to the conclusion that drugging Scott’s entire family so they don’t know what’s real or what’s fake wasn’t going to work. Oh my god...Scott’s entire family saw. FUCK! Elly saw too, how am I supposed to explain this to her? I wanted so badly to cry but it was hard to focus when Scott’s morning wood was poking into my thigh. If I rolled just a bit he would fall on the floor and I could jump over the back of the couch and hide there until he goes away. Yes, this could work. Surely his first reaction would be to check on Elly, right? I shifted my shoulders and rolled on to my side feeling Scott’s body slowly slipping off of me. Yes this is actually going to work! As soon as I was clear of Scott I jumped up and hopped over the back of the couch like a deer. Seconds later I heard a thud. I curled into a ball and tried to hold my breath so he wouldn’t see me. Scott on the other side of the couch groaned loudly and then I could hear him getting up.

“G’morning.” Scott said, who was he talking to?

“Good morning, how are you feeling?” Alma asked, wait ALMA??? Why was she up.

“I think I would be fine if I didn’t just fall off the couch.” Scott groaned.

“You didn’t fall, mommy pushed you.” Elly said, oh my god...I was never going to live this down. “She’s hiding behind the couch.”

****

I slowly peeked my head above the back of the couch and grinned awkwardly. Alma was sitting at the table reading a newspaper and Elly was sitting across from her eating a piece of toast. They were both looking at me with an amused look. Scott was standing on the other side of the couch looking at me like I had two heads. I hung my head in shame and everyone was just silently waiting for something to happen.

“Would you like a cup of coffee, darling?” Alma offered.

“Yes please.” I said, looking at the carpet. I walked around to the other side of the couch and sat back down, Scott sat next to me watching me out of the corner of his eye. Alma came back into the living room humming the tune to, ‘Hooked on a feeling’. I glared at her as she handed me a mug.

“Oh dear, you’re vicious in the morning.” She commented and handed Scott a mug who mumbled a thank-you before staring into the black liquid red as a tomato.

“Elly, after you finish your breakfast get your coat and shoes on, we need to get going.” I said pressing my temple.

“Okay, Daddy’s coming too right?” Elly said. Scott’s head snapped up at the mention of ‘Daddy’ opposed to ‘Scotty’. I wanted to wipe that stupid smile off his face, this is his mess too.

“No Elly.” I said sternly, warning her with my eyes not to push it.

“But you guys kissed.” Elly ignored my gaze. “For real.”

“Elly, listen-” I said, feeling Scott’s eyes back on me.

“No, You guys kissed, that means you love him. That means he can come home and we can be a family.” Elly’s voice got louder and more frustrated.

“That kiss didn’t mean anything-” I felt Scott go rigid beside me and Alma reached for Elly but she was already standing.

“This is not fair!” Elly roared. “You keep saying that dad is going to be a meanie, that he is going to love me and then leave me. You’re the meanie mommy, you kissed daddy to make him think that you love him and now you’re going away.” Elly was now crying.

“Eleanor!” I scolded.

“No! I hate you!” Eleanor turned and ran into her father’s arms.

“We’re going now, say goodbye to your father.” I bit my lip trying to hide the hurt. She’s never said anything like that before. “Thank-you for everything Alma.”

“Tessa.” Alma whispered. 

“I’m not going!” Elly screamed. “I want to stay with daddy.”

“Eleanor, go with your mother.” Scott whispered. I looked at him with a broken expression.

“Daddy!” Elly sobbed. Scott started crying.

“Tess, please.” He begged, crying into Elly’s hair.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” I tried to stay strong.

“Please, just say that it meant something.” He sniffled.

“I…” I couldn’t find the words.

“You kissed me Tessa, I’m not the bad guy here. You kissed me and it meant something to me.” Scott pleaded with his eyes.

“Scotty, let her go dear. You were both drinking and Tessa is very clearly hurting right now.” Alma said, her words sounded so far away.

“It meant something.” I said so quietly I wasn’t sure it actually came out of my mouth. Scott looked up at me, his face softening.

“Would it be okay if you took Elly for the day? I need time.” I asked, my face pale.

“Yes, of course take all the time you need. I’ll drop her back off at your place around 6, does 6 work Tess?” Scott was now talking really fast.

“6 works great.” I turned around and made my way out the door. It wasn’t until I was in my car that I started to cry.

****

The first thing I did once I left Ilderton was send a message to Susan asking her to set up our first appointment. The second thing I did was drive to my mother’s house. As soon as she opened the door and saw me without Elly she pulled me in and wrapped her arms around me. I started crying again breathing in the family scent of her perfume. I’m not sure I have ever felt this bad in my entire life. All I ever wanted to do was protect my daughter from this big and scary world, but instead I ended up being the one to hurt her. My mom brought me into her home and wrapped and blanket around me and sat me on her couch in front of the fire. She then disappeared into her kitchen and came back 10 minutes later with two cups of tea. She handed one to me and then sat across from me in her favourite chair.

****

“Whenever you’re ready.” Kate said.

“Elly is at Scott’s for the day.” I started.

“And is that hard for you?” Kate asked.

“No.” I admitted. Kate looked at me funny.

“Okay.” She said, asking me to continue.

“The three of us went to see a councillor yesterday. Scott got his paternity results back, he’s Elly’s father.” I said.

“Was that hard for you?” Kate repeated.

“No, I knew he was the moment I saw him.” I said.

“What else?” Kate was waiting for me to get to the point.

“Elly and I went to the Moir’s for Thanksgiving last night.” I said.

“How was that?” Kate encouraged me.

“It was really nice, he has a huge family. Alma made a wonderful turkey.” I said.

“Tessa, what has you so upset?” Kate finally asked.

“I kissed Scott, mom. I kissed him because I wanted to...And he kissed me back.” I started crying again.

“Well that is an interesting development.” My mom said kindly.

“Elly saw it happen...Actually, his entire family did.” I laughed through my tears.

“Oh.” Kate’s eyebrows raised to her hair line and although her face wasn’t filled with judgement she didn’t look entirely calm either.

“Elly and I spent the night at Alma’s house.” I said. Kate didn’t speak, she waited for me to finish. “And in the morning Elly expected Scott to come home with us. She started to call him ‘Daddy’ instead of “Scotty’ and when I told her the kiss didn’t mean anything she yelled at me and told me she hated me.” I sniffled.

“Oh Tess, you know she doesn’t mean that.” Kate said.

“Then Scott started crying and said the kiss meant something to him, and begged me to admit that it meant something to me too...Which I did.” I explained without taking a breath.

“And that’s why you’re upset?” Kate asked.

“Yes, that is why I’m upset.” I confirmed.

“Did you not mean it?” She said, “Did you only say it because you thought you needed to...For Elly?”

“No, I think I actually meant it.” I said.

“Do you have a crush on Scott, sweetie?” My mom sipped her tea.

“Mom, I’m not a teenager.” I groaned. “But yes...I have a crush on Scott.”

“Then I don’t really see why you’re so upset?” My mom asked. “Is it because Elly got upset?”

“I mean yes, that hurt a lot but you know how Elly can have a bit of a temper. I confused her and disappointed her. I know she doesn’t hate me, she hates what I did.” I took a deep breath, “I’m hurting mom. I’m hurting so damn bad because I thought that if i could avoid ever feeling love towards another man I wouldn’t have to feel the pain that drowned me when dad left. Of when Fedore, Kyle, and Ryan left.”

“Honey, those were four really horrible situations, I’m not cheapening that for you but you need to move on. You are so loved my dear; you are strong, vast and brilliant. None of those men leaving was your fault.” Kate said.

“It feels like my fault. Like no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make them stay.” I sniffled.

“You weren’t around to see what things were like with your father. When you were at School and would come home on the weekends you would only see the good parts. We all love you so much so we did what we could to protect you from him. Now that I think about it maybe we shouldn’t have sheltered you quite as much as we did. Your father was sick Tessa. He would have manic episodes where he would be uncharacteristically happy. During that time he would partake in risky investments, he would spend our entire paychecks on expensive presents and he would have this idea that he was invincible. The highs were always followed by the lows. He would get really depressed. I would take back all of the things he bought because we couldn’t afford groceries and he would get really, really mad. Kevin moved out, and you were at boarding school but Jordan and Casey had to see him like that every day. Your father refused to see a doctor and he lost his job because of it. We almost weren’t able to pay for your ballet but Casey stepped up and started working a second job and Jordan put off going to University. One day I just lost it Tess, I couldn’t keep lying to you and putting my older kids in a position where they had to make sacrifices for their unwilling father. I told your father that if he didn’t straighten himself out that I was going to leave him. I felt like for the first time I actually got through to him. You and Kevin came home for Christmas break and everything seemed alright, he seemed so happy. Christmas Eve I sent him and Kevin out to buy eggs for our baking and Kevin called me saying that your father had been arrested. Your father owed some man a lot of money and that man came to collect. Your father freaked out and the grocery store employee called the police. Christmas morning before we were all awake Jordan drove to the police station with money to collect your dad. When she got there he was gone.” Kate said, a few stray tears sliding down her face. “As for those other guys. They were nothing like Scott Moir. They were players. We all knew that...I think even deep down inside, you knew that.”

“Oh mama, I’m so sorry.” My mom moved beside me and I wrapped my arms around her.

“No Tessa, I’m sorry. I was trying to protect you, but in the process it just hurt you even more. I hate that you can’t trust men because you thought your dad was something he wasn’t. I don’t want you to push away someone special because you’re scared that history will repeat itself.” Kate played with my hair.

“It all just happened so fast.” I said.

“I know...But here is food for thought. Scott found out about Elly and could have reacted so poorly to the situation but he didn’t. He chose to be patient and kind. He even went as far as seeing a counsellor to talk about how he can navigate through this new life. He’s done so much already to show you that he’s committed to keeping you safe. Scott is not your father, Tessa. The man is practically stripping himself bare and falling to his knees for you. If you have feelings for him then stop denying yourself the opportunity to love and be loved. Surrender and just let it be.” My mom’s words sunk in as the fire crackled in front of me.

“And Elly?” I looked up at her.

“She’ll come around. She just wants her parents to love each other as much as she loves them.” Kate always knows what to say.

“Thanks mom.” I hugged her tightly around the waist. I may be close to 40 but I will always be my mother’s little girl.

****

…

****

I was laying in bed exhausted from a long day of crying, confessions, confrontation when I heard the front door open. I knew I should get up and greet Elly at the door but I would prefer if Scott didn’t see me like this. My eyes were bloodshot and red, my eyelashes were stuck together from dried up tears, and my clothes consisted of an oversized T-shirt and leggings that has a small hole in the crotch. I heard Elly’s little footsteps climbing the stairs so I fell back into mattress closing my eyes shut. I heard Elly wobble the handle of my door, then I imagined the smell of food. I guess I hadn’t eaten all day, I’m hungry. 

****

“Daddy, I think she’s sleeping.” Elly whispered. My eyes flew open and I sat up.

****

Elly was standing in the door of my room holding a plate covered with tin foil. She had a sheepish grin on her face. She wasn’t wearing the yellow dress she woke up in. Now she was wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey with leggings. I looked up to Scott who was standing behind her. He was also carrying a dish.

****

“Hi.” I said, smiling at Elly to reassure her that we were okay.

“Hi mommy.” Elly walked over and climbed onto my bed scooting next to me.

“Dad and I made you a cake.” Elly took the foil off of the dish revealing a little cake that said, “I love you, mommy’ In blue icing. 

“Oh Elly, it’s beautiful.” I wrapped my arm around her pulling her next to me. The cake on my lap.

“I’m sorry mommy.” Ella snuggled into my chest.

“I’m sorry too.” I said, looking at Scott.

“Daddy didn’t know if you had dinner so we left you a plate.” Elly motioned for Scott to bring the other dish. He uncovered it an put it beside me on the nightstand.

“It smells so good, Thank-you Scott.” I looked at Scott and he smiled, not quite meeting my eye. Scott started moving away towards the door.

“Where are you going?” I asked, Scott turned back towards me.

“I was going to leave you alone.” He smiled sadly.

“Scott, I’m sorry. Please stay.” I patted the bed beside Elly. “You need to help us eat this cake.”

“Are you sure, Tess?” He looked hopeful.

“I’m sure.” Scott came back and scooted into bed next to Elly. I passed him the cake and started eating the chicken and vegetables he made. It was better than any chicken I have ever tasted before.

I finished my plate and then helped Scott and Elly with the cake. By the time we finished Elly was sleepily resting her head against Scott’s shoulder. I stacked the plates on my bedside table and ignored the crumps on my white duvet. That was a problem for tomorrow. I turned my head and looked at Scott who also looked like he was fading.

****

“So where did you get that adorable jersey?” I asked him.

“She may have dragged me to the mall. There is also an odd looking build-A-bear that I think is supposed to be a mouse but looks like a desiccated badger. I tried to get her to choose the little piggy but the kid wanted the ugly thing. It’s also wearing a jersey and she named it Joe.” Scott chuckled, “Let’s just not tell my dad about this one, okay.” I gave a full on full belly laugh.

“Oh Scott, you’re so good to her.” I rolled onto my side so I was facing him.

“I’m all in Tess.” He whispered looking into my soul.

“I’m kind of messed up Scott, I shouldn’t have toyed with you like I did. I was confused and I’m sorry.” I said, watching his face change.

“You don’t have to let me down easy Tessa, just being near you and my daughter is enough for me.” He said.

“Scott, I don’t want to keep pushing you away. I want to be with you.” I said. This time I was certain.

“You can’t keep changing your mind Tessa, it’s breaking my heart. If you want to keep me at arms length than stop making me think I have a chance with you...Because I...nevermind.” Scott stopped, blinking his eyes to clear away the thought.

“I’m done being scared Scott. I want this, I have a lot that I need to work on still but I don’t want to push you away...wait, what was it you were going to say?” Elly was now fast asleep between us.

“Nevermind Tess, don’t worry about it.” He chuckled.

“No, tell me.” I demanded.

“I...I just think that I might be falling for you.” He said so softly I could feel it.

I didn’t respond but I knew I didn’t need to, I showed him how I felt by scooting my body up against Elly’s and stretching my arm across her tummy letting my hand fall on Scott’s chest. He reached across and kissed me gently on the forehead, placing his hand over top of mine.

****


	8. Purple Balloons and Monkeys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elly's birthday party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is going to be so sweet you'll get a tooth ache.

8)

           The week since I woke up in Scott’s arms for the second night in a row has felt so wonderful and domestic. We never really talked about the feelings we confessed to each other, we just fell into a steady rhythm that felt good for our family. On Monday I had a busy work day and ended up staying late in my office. Scott drove Elly home from practise and made us all dinner, saving me a plate. When I came home to the lovely smell of salmon and fresh baked buns I almost cried. Scott wrapped me in a warm embrace and gave me a chaste kiss before leaving hockey. The rest of the week was quite the same. We would find reasons to see each other. Everyday we would end our evenings sitting at the dinner table as a family, enjoying Scott's excellent cooking. The part after dinner was always the saddest part of my day. Scott was too chivalrous to overstay his welcome and I would follow him to the door begging him with my eyes to stay. Both of us knew exactly where we wanted to be but neither of us could say it. Elly would be humming to herself in the bath upstairs and Scott would place his hands gently on my waist pulling me in for a kiss...And then he would wait for me to ask him to stay...and I wouldn't, even though I hadn't slept properly without him. He never looked hurt when he turned to walk to his car... but that was Scott. He would wait forever if it meant that it was on my terms.

 

           Today was Elly’s seventh Birthday party and this year I asked Scott to help me plan it. He insisted it be at his home in Ilderton, because unlike my city townhouse, he had almost an acre of land for the kids to play. Work had been unusually busy so Scott really stepped up and got everything in order. He would call me during work and ask me questions without much context. (what's Elly’s favourite colour? What is her favourite animal? Please don't say dessicated badgers. Does she have any allergies? Do any of her friends have allergies?) The funny thing was that Scott hasn't actually ever invited me to his house so I had no clue what I was in for, he was just so excited about planning Elly’s party that I chose not to intervene. I followed the GPS through the country roads until the little red flag told me that we arrived at our destination. I thought for sure that I punched in the wrong address but the streamers hanging from the wrap around patio and the cluster of purple balloons next to the large wooden door told me otherwise. Scott’s home was totally beautiful. More beautiful than I could have ever imagined. He lived in a two story, refurbished farmhouse that was still so full of character. He had hanging baskets between the pillars of the overhang full of red and white flowers. The path to his door was lined by flower beds that were meticulously managed. Elly looked up at his house and the white shutters around his windows.

           “Wow, Daddy lives here?” Elly asked.

            “I suppose he does.” I said in awe.

 

           We walked up the path and I knocked on the door noticing the white picket fence lining the yard and the bench swing on his porch. His home was everything I wanted but never thought I'd share with someone. Scott opened the door and scooped Elly up into his arms wishing her a happy birthday. I felt my chest tighten when I saw that he was wearing a purple button down that matched Elly’s party dress in her favourite shade of purple. He was incredible. As I made my way further into his home I had this overwhelming feeling that Scott could be the love of my life. His beautifully decorated home was filled with balloons and streamers. There was a banner in the archway leading from his kitchen to the dining room that said, ‘Happy Birthday Elly’ and there were monkey decorations everywhere. I felt a tear run down my cheek when sitting on the table was a homemade birthday cake with a monkey cake topper wearing figure skates. 

             “Scott! Did you make This?” I looked down at the cake.

             “I did. Its angel food cake. Mum helped me with the piping.” He shrugged.

             “I love it.” I turned to him.

             “Just you wait, babe.” He whispered into my neck leaving his lips there.

             “Daddy, this is so cool!” Elly came out from living room that was filled with more purple balloons and a pile of gifts.

             “Follow me!” I took Elly’s hand and we followed Scott through a glass door into his backyard. Elly squealed loudly jumping up and down. Scott had built his own skating rink in the large backyard. He had fairy lights strung around the boards and a big box with different sized skates neatly piled inside for all Ellys friends.

            “Oh Daddy!” Elly jumped into Scott’s arms kissing him on the cheek.

            “I love you kiddo. I wanted to give you the moon and the stars but my lasso wasn't long enough.” Scott tickled her.

           “That's silly!” Elly chuckled.

           The doorbell rang and Elly squirmed out of Scott's arms running back up to the house. Scott wrapped his arms around my waist leaning his forehead against mine.

            “Do you think she likes It?” Scott teased.

            “I can't believe you did all of this. It must have taken you days.” I said, my breath against his face.

            “I have a whole team of Moirs who are rooting for our funny little family. They can see how happy you and Elly make me...Those cheesy fuckers can't resist a good love story.” Scott chuckled bringing his lips to meet mine.

            “Get a room!” Jordan called from Scott's porch. Jenna and Matius were racing towards us with little Elly following closely behind.

           “Uncle Scott!” Matius said out of breath, “Can we see your medals?” 

           “Yes! Of course.” Scott started walking towards the house with the kids and I went up to the porch to meet Jordan.

           “Hey.” I said, nudging Jordan with my shoulder as I leaned over the railing beside her.

           “You look really happy.” Jordan looked at me.

           “I am, ridiculously happy.” I admitted.

           “Mom told me she told you about dad...Tess, you have to know that I was only trying to protect you.” Jordan's voice was strained. I grabbed her hand.

           “I know, and I love you for it.” I said softly.

           “Scott really went all out, didn't he? I hope you can see that this is all for you. That man is totally in love with you.” Jordan's eyes told me that she was serious.

          “I think I love him back, Jordan.” I whispered, because I was worried that vocalizing it would wear it out 

          “You deserve it, Tess.” Jordan kissed my cheek. “This house! Wow! He has really great taste.”

          “I don't doubt that he completely refurbished this place himself. It's just so...Scott.” I chuckled.

          “What's just so Scott?” Scott came up next to me joining us in our lean against the railing.

          “Your house.” Jordan chuckled.

          “I certainly hope so, I have to live here.” He smirked. “Shall we go back inside? Elly’s friends are starting to arrive. There is some girl here named Ruby, and Kaitlyn and Andrew just pulled up with Teddy.”

 

          Elly’s birthday was an amazing celebration. Her friends ran around Scott’s house full of sugary snacks and the ones who wanted to brave the late October cold went skating. Elly and Teddy begged Scott to teach them ice dancing so I ended up being nominated as his partner. We laughed and spun around the rink, Scott holding me up so I didn't fall on my ass. The kids ate pizza and birthday cake and I watched as Scott made sure every single one of Elly’s friends was included and having a good time. Elly opened her gifts and couldn't contain her excitement at all her new clothes and toys. Alma got Elly a new skating costume and a picture frame with the three of us together on Thanksgiving, Teddy got her a new skating bag, Jordan got her monkey Sylvanians, I got her a new ‘Canada’ podium jacket to match her dad's and Scott bought her a brand new pair of ice dance skates. Elly has decided that she wanted to be just like her dad and try out icedance. The kids all started crashing from their sugar highs and their parents came to pick them all up. Scott and I started cleaning up and Elly was nodding off on Scott's couch when Scott stopped abruptly.

           “I almost forgot!” Scott said running up the stairs. “I have one more thing!”

 

           Scott returned to the living room and sat next to Elly who woke from her relaxed state. He handed her a small box with a ribbon on it.

           “What's this, Daddy?” Elly turned over the box in her hand.

           “Just a little reminder of who you are.” Scott said kissing her temple. Elly looked up at her dad with an odd expression and then opened the box revealing a small silver locket. The front had a figure skate on it and the back had the words, ‘You are so loved’ engraved in the silver.

           “It's pretty!” she held it in her small hand.

            “Open it, sweetie.” I said softly. Elly pried open the clasp and looked at the little pictures inside. On one side was a picture of Elly skating with Teddy, both kids had huge smiles on their faces, and the other picture was of Scott carrying Elly on his hip while holding my hand. It was a picture from our very first day together at the pizza parlour. It was so perfectly candid and even then we looked like we fit. Those two pictures represented Elly’s life and the things she loves; skating and her family. Scott helped her put the locket around her neck and Elly held it tightly in her palm pressed against her heart.

           Scott carried Elly upstairs and set her in his guest bedroom. Elly had fallen asleep before I even had a chance to read her a story, the locket still tight in her hand. I knew it meant everything to her, It meant everything to me too. 

Scott and I didn't need to talk about what was happening. He grabbed my hand and led me to his bedroom. He stopped in front of his door and I nodded letting him know that this was everything I wanted. We walked into his room and as soon as the door was shut his lips were on mine. This kiss wasn't soft and loving. It was hard and fast and sexual. I reached my hand up to unbutton Scott's shirt and he worked on the zipper of my dress. As soon as my dress was unzipped and had fallen to the floor Scott moved his mouth down my neck to reside on my nipple. He worked his magic on me and I threw my head back and moaned, only making him more aroused. With shaking hands I unclasped his belt and unbuttoned his pants sliding them down his hips. I trailed my fingers over his hard tummy and around to feel the muscles in his back. I dug my fingers into his back and he responded by bringing his lips back to mine and pressing his body right up against me. I felt him hard up against me and the feeling of him made me sigh into his mouth. Scott growled from low in his chest and slid his hand down to grab my ass, pressing me tighter against him. I needed him, all of him. I push him backwards onto his bed and took him in my hand pushing his boxers down his thighs. I could feel him growing harder and harder in my grasp. I made eye contact with him as I slowly slid him into my mouth sucking and bobbing.

“Fuck Tess.” He moaned. I quickened my pace.

 

When I felt like he was close I pulled away feeling my own wet seep through the cloth of my panties. Scott grabbed my hands pulling me onto the bed and rolling us over so he was on top. His weight felt like heaven against me. He kissed my neck and teasingly trailed his fingers softly down my front until they landed on my hip. He hooked his thumb into my panties pulling them off of me. I kicked the soaked material off my leg and spread myself for him. He touched me in all the most tender places making me thirsty for more. 

“Scott, please.” I begged.

Scott slid his fingers inside me and worked me until my hips were bucking against my hand. He licked my neck and then sat up looking at me spread out and vulnerable beneath him.

“Tessa?” Scott’s eyes were full of emotion.

“Please Scott. I want you.” I begged, feeling lost without his weight keeping me safe under him.

Scott didn’t need to be asked twice. He lined himself up to me and pushed himself deep inside of me. I cried out in pleasure and he lowered his body back on top of mine. He began moving his hip against me, building. I dug my nails into his back trying to hold on the best I could but as soon as I felt his ragged breathing against my neck I knew I was done for. I came in waves of pleasure and Scott emptied himself inside of me moaning his sweet tune. After a minute of trying to come back down from our sex high Scott rolled over and I could feel his warmth oozing out from inside me. I rolled over and linked my leg over Scott’s hip, resting my head on his chest. His breathing slowed and he held me close. He kissed my hair and I shifted to look up at him.

“I love you.” He whispered to me, telling me everything I needed to know with his beautiful hazel eyes.

“Marry me.” I said. I have never been more serious about anything in my entire life.

  
  



	9. You'll be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, I'm having a bit of a block. This wasn't my favourite chapter and I had rewritten it twice. Suggestions are appreciated :)

9)

 

I sat wrapped in a blanket rhythmically swinging back and forth on Scott’s bench swing. The warm cup of coffee in my hands cut the bite of the late October’s wind. The fog that moved in a thick layer across the grounds was oddly soothing, allowing me to believe that I lived in a dream world where no wrong existed. That’s what it felt like anyways. Being here, at Scott’s home, wrapped in Scott’s blanket with our beautiful, healthy daughter asleep upstairs. That’s enough for me. The fear wasn’t gone, I think that’s something that will probably always be there but it got to the point where denying myself became more painful than reciprocating Scott’s love, with the possibility of a heartbreak that wasn’t guaranteed. Cutting through the fog down the road was Scott’s silhouette. He was coming home from his morning jog and there was something about the way my stomach tingles at the sight of him that reassures me that everything is going to be alright. Scott smiled as he approached the porch, breaking to a walk. He climbed the steps right to me, kissing me on the forehead. Scott Moir, sweaty and breathy, is my second favourite version of him, right next to the Scott Moir who is being soft and sweet with our child.

“Good morning beautiful,” Scott said between fast breaths that made me feel aroused all over again, “I wasn’t expecting you up for another hour or two.”

“The bed felt cold without you.” I batted my lashes at him.

“HA HA!” Scott teased in a sing-song voice, “You love me, you want to kiss me, and marry me, and have my babies!”

“Oh shut up!” I rolled my eyes. Trying to hide my smile.

“Seriously though Tess, last night was-”

“Amazing?” I gave him a devilish smile.

“Perfect, you are completely perfect and unpredictable and i love you.” He kissed me softly, the salt from his sweat on his lips.

“Would it be too forward for me to ask you to fuck me in the shower? Elly will be dead to the world for at least another hour.” I whispered into his skin.

“Did I mention that I love you?” He pulled me up from my comfortable perch and led me to his downstairs bathroom.

 

He closed the door behind us and turned on the shower head. The steam started to rise and I felt myself getting wet just watching him. He stripped off his clothes and then turned to me, pulling off his ‘Canada’ t-shirt that I borrowed. Before I could feel the cold of being completely exposed Scott was pulling me into his chest, reaching around to cup my ass. He pulled me backwards into the shower and I moaned as the hot water hit my chest. Scott kissed my neck leaving little kisses in a path down my belly. He gently pushed me backwards so I was pressed against the cold tiles. He dropped to his knees and spread me kissing the inside of my thigh. I placed my hands on his shoulders lightly pressing into the tension there.

“Scott, yes. Oh, fuck yes.” I mumbled as he put his mouth on me, licking and sucking. My body was not going easy on me, my legs shook as I got weaker to his touch. It was almost as though Scott had known me a lifetime. The way he navigated my curves and edges like he had years of practiced precision made me come apart. He was so soft with me, this wasn’t like yesterday’s hot, fast sex. Scott wasn’t fucking me, he was making love to me. When I felt my body contract under me, I sighed throwing back my head riding out the orgasm. Scott came back to a stand wrapping his arms around my waist kissing me ever so softly. I press my body against his feeling his hard warmth pressing into my stomach. Scott moaned into my mouth as I took him in my hand.

“Where have you been all my life?” Scott whispered into my neck making the hairs stand on end.

“Trying to find someone like you.” I whispered back, deliberately blowing into his ear.

Scott placed his hands under the curve of my ass and lifted me, my legs wrapped instinctively around his waist, my arms around his neck. He pressed me against the wall and found my opening pressing himself inside me. Like lock and key. We started moving as a single fine oiled machine. Scott moaned into my mouth as he kissed me tenderly, his hips driving into mine. We climaxed together, my body arching into his, my head falling on his shoulder. He placed me down gently and we just held each other, the water washing away our sex. Scott handed me a bottle of shampoo and I started lathering my hair. We washed our bodies and chatted as though this was the most usual thing in the world.

“So, I was thinking…” Scott said as he handed me a bottle of conditioner.

“Mmhmm.” I said, massaging the ends of my hair.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Scott asked in the most adorable, teasing voice. I swatted him on the ass.

“You’re funny.” I rolled my eyes.

“I was only half joking.” He said.

“Of course I want to be your girlfriend.” I rolled my eyes. “I know I seemed to have hit the gas pedal but I’m not intentionally trying to confuse you.”

“I know, babe.” he smirked, “I guess the reason why I’m asking is because as we start to try and figure out our relationship, we need to have answers for Elly.” Scott said.

“This is everything she’s wanted.” I smiled.

“I just want to make sure we communicate with her so she doesn’t have to keep guessing.” Scott said thoughtfully.

“Should we sit her down and talk about this?” I asked.

“Well, not this exactly.” Scott pointed between us, with a shit grin on his lips, “But yeah, I think so.”

“And...What exactly are we going to tell her?” I asked.

“That’s your call Tess, like I said, you call the shots.” Scott took my hand in his.

“Let’s start by telling her that we are together and happy.” I smiled.

“So I want to know if you’d be open to this...Not right away of course but...I don’t know...when you’re ready...Just because I know it’s something that will be on Elly’s mind.” Scott started.

“What is it?” I looked to him.

“Would you ever consider moving in with me? I know it’s a lot to ask but logistically i think it could make sense. You could drop her off at School on your way to the office, I could pick her up from School so Kate wouldn’t have to. On days when she’s skating I could take care of all that. I know Ilderton is a bit far from your mom and sister...But I just thought...It’s an idea.” Scott rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m not going to answer that, because right now I just want to say yes to everything you ask me.” I kissed his nose.

“In that case…” Scott mock kneeled.

“Get up you idiot. I know we haven’t been typical but don’t you dare propose to me butt naked in the shower.” I laughed.

“How is that different from butt naked in my bed?” Scott chuckled.

“Okay enough of that. Let’s get dried off and clothed before we get caught by our daughter.” I rolled my eyes.

“You’re avoiding the conversation.” Scott stated stepping out of the shower and tossing me a towel.

“Am not! But if I’m being serious...We don’t even know if we’d be able to survive under the same roof. We still have so much to learn about each other.” I said.

“Yeah, that's true. Maybe we should slow down a bit.” Scott suggested. His face looking sad.

           “Maybe.” I agreed. “I think we are doing fine, Scott. We are seeing Sue weekly, we are working things out, and Elly is happy. You travel a lot with your junior teams, I just don’t feel like moving in together is something I’m ready to do. You’re going to be gone for two weeks for the junior grand prix, I want to be able to go home when you’re not here.” I said honestly.

“Okay.” he said passing me a towel.

“Okay.” I repeated, not quite meeting his eye.

 

….

 

          It was the middle of December and Christmas was only a week away. Scott and I fell into a happy rhythm of staying at his house and my house equal amounts of time. Elly hadn't questioned the lack of stability because at least we were all together. Scott was starting to get really stressed with his Junior teams finishing their grand prix season and working their way to junior worlds in March. I on the other hand have been horribly ill. It seems as though I get sick at least once per day. I though for sure that I would have lost a ton of weight but I have gained 8 pounds. It was a freezing cold Friday evening and Scott walked in from the cold with Elly. Her skates hung over her shoulder by her shoe laces. Her blonde hair was darkened by the snow and her cheeks were rosy. Scott walked into his bedroom where I was laying on my back flat out on his bed.

            “Tess, did you get sick again?” Scott planted a kiss on my forehead.

            “Mmhmm. I think I'm just stressed, work has been insane.” I frowned.

            “Maybe you should take some time off. I know that this time of year is tough for you.” He sat next to me.

            “No way. I'm not letting my dad get into my head. He's been gone for 23 years, I'm over it.” I defended.

             “Okay. I'm going to make chicken for dinner, are you alright with that?” He stood back up. Elly silently watching me in the doorway.

            “That's perfect. Thanks Scott.” I smiled. Scott walked past Elly but she continued to watch me.

           “What's up?” I turned on my side to look at her properly.

            “Remember when we got to see Teddy’s new baby sister Mallory? Remember how auntie Kaitlyn said that Mallory made her really sick at the start?” Elly said softly.

            “Yeah I remember, Mallory is sweet, isn't she?” I smiled.

            “Yeah, she is.” Elly stepped closer to the bed looking at my tummy. “Maybe you're making one of those? You have been kissing daddy a lot.”

             “You think I'm pregnant?” I sat up quickly. Why hadn't i thought about that?

            “You are looking fat, mommy. Don't babies grow in the tummy?” Elly said.

            “Eleanor, that was a really mean thing to say…” My voice got weak.

           I got out of bed and grabbed Ellys hand leading her down the stairs. Scott was hard at work cutting veggies. Elly looked at me curiously when I stopped by the island.

            “Hey Scott, after dinner can we go to the pharmacy?” I asked.

            “Yeah, is everything alright?” He looked at Elly who was still holding my hand.

            “I think i might be a little bit pregnant.” 

 

            It made sense, I had been so busy that I haven't even remembered the last time I had my period. And now thinking back to Ellys birthday, Scott didn't use a condom. Fuck. Why am I so stupid? I haven't been on birth control since my last boyfriend...10 years ago. The throwing up, the weight gain...it all added up.

           “What?” Scott just stared at me. “How can you be a little bit pregnant? You either are or you aren't.”

           “I...i don't know. I just might be.” I looked at Elly and she nodded in reassurance, much like her father.

           “Okay, well dinner can wait, we are going now.” Scott turned off the oven and grabbed his keys. “If you're pregnant I'd like to know before the 6th birthday.” clearly Scott has issues of his own. I decided not to touch that one.

 

          We were walking around the Excel Pharmacy in Ilderton. I grabbed a pregnancy test and put it in the basket. Elly dragged me to the makeup section and Scott went to get toothpaste. When Scott found us looking at nail polish his arms were full of pregnancy tests. Like not just one or two different brands. He picked up every single brand the store carried along with prenatal vitamins and nipple cream. My eyes bulged out of my head and Elly looked up at me, rolling her eyes at Scott. The lady who worked at the cosmetic counter behind us burst out in very unprofessional, uncontrollable fits of laughter.

             “Scott, I already got one.” I said, he dumped the test into my basket.

            “How do you know it's accurate?” He quipped.

            “I'm sure it's accurate enough.” My cheeks were red. “And nipple cream? Really?”

            “Hey! Both of my brother’s wives complained about chapped nipples.” He said, crossing his arms.

           “Yeah, Scott...After the baby is born...I don't even know if I'm pregnant.” I said.

           “Well we are about to find out, aren't we.” He was clearly not happy about something.

           “Scott, what is going on? You're acting so defensive. Do you not want me to be pregnant?” I could feel myself getting angry.

           “Of course I want you to be pregnant. But really Tessa? How are we going to make this work when we are currently living in two different homes. It's like you don't want to let go of your house because you don't see us working out. I asked you months ago to move in with me. Elly doesn't know whether she's going to be at mom's house one day or dad's house the next. I want this so badly but I'm terrified that you don't.” Scott said. His voice attracting attention from other shoppers. “Look Tessa, I'm sorry, I know I told you I could be patient but I just got back from two weeks away with my teams and when I pulled into my driveway It didn't even register that you might not be there waiting for me. I searched through my entire home looking for traces of you and for a second I was convinced you were gone, both you and Elly. If that feeling was what it's like to think you're gone...I can't handle that Tessa. Especially if there is a second child involved. I love you. I am stupidly, pathetically in love with you and if you're having my child I need to know you're here to stay. You have to look both ways crossing the road, you have to drive carefully, you have to get more sleep...I can't go through that again.” Scott was now shaking and the cosmetics lady was no longer laughing. I walked over to Scott and wrapped my arms around him.

           “Kaitlyn?” I asked gently.

           “Yeah…” He confirmed resting his head on my shoulder. 

           “Let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay? I love you too, Scott. I didn't know that's how you felt. The last time we talked about me moving in you said we needed to slow down.” I said, cheek to cheek. Scott never has opened up about Kaitlyn with me yet. I felt like this was a start.

            “Can we go home and see of you're pregnant now?” he said breathing me in.

            “Yes of course, but maybe choose only 2 tests. You can choose any 2 that you like the most. And Scott, never ever think that i would leave you willingly.” I said gently. “I am not my father.”

 

           I sat on the counter while Scott finished dinner. We had the oven timer on but it wasn't for the chicken. The family beeping sound went off and we all stopped what we were doing.

          “Can I look first?” Elly asked jumping off the counter across from me.

          “Yes! I left them on the bathroom window sill.” I said. Scott came to stand next to me, he held my hand and looked into my eyes. We had a silent conversation as Elly trotted to the bathroom and back.

          “This one says two blue lines and this one says a plus sign.” She looked at me confused but my expression told her what she wanted to know.

           “You're pregnant.” Scott said looking at me like I were the scores to his free dance and life was the Olympics.

           “I'm pregnant.” I sighed, laughing and crying at the same time.

           “Mommy! You're growing a baby!” Elly said jumping up and down. “a little brother or sister.” 

           “I am Elly, are you happy?” I asked my daughter.

           “Yeah, I'm happy!” She hugged Scott's leg.

“Scott?” I looked at him.

“Uhuh?” He was focusing really hard on the chicken.

“Are you happy?” I asked, feeling my stomach turn.

“I am, so incredibly happy.” He looked up and he had tears in his eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere, okay?” I kissed his cheek.

“I know honey, I guess I’m just…”

“Scared?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m scared.” He confirmed. “Maybe we should book an appointment with the doctor.”

“Maybe we should sell my house.” I said, he looked up at me with wide eyes.

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” I smiled, Scott grabbed me and pulled me into his arms.

 

We are having a baby.

 


End file.
